Team Hellions
Covering wrestling, comics, MMA and more.

Nov
03

Really? Really?

Last night’s show confirmed it, Raw finally has a permanent guest host, or hosts.  Triple H and Shawn Michaels!  If WWE wishes to have has been drug addicts from the eighties stumble around and try to remember lines while being a guest, they need look no further than the WWE Hall of Fame.  Nor does it make sense for a celebrity promoting a new book to promote it on Raw.  “Ozzy, its your agent.  I’ve got you booked on the Today show, Leno, Letterman, Oprah, and Monday Night Raw.”  It doesn’t flow.  Added to this the (wrong) idea that wrestling fans are illiterate simpletons.  What better market to sell a book to?  But it doesn’t matter how well our small wrestling minds can read when our authority figures/hosts can’t pronounce words!  Evan Brawn? Kobe Kingston?  It sounds like a Korean bootleg version of wrestling figures, to be sold next to the Y-Men and the Amazing Pider-Man.

But have no fear, our true leaders of Raw, D-Generation X is here to save the day.  And by save the day I mean feed Ozzy his lines on a silver platter!  Or the body of a bat as it were.  DX gets to rub up against their idols AND make them look bad, thus showing the fans that DX is cooler than everyone.  Shameless plugs, main event matches, “the greatest tag team of all time”, burying new talent, its the DX show!  You may think the show is in repeats though, as they’re doing the same routine they did over ten years ago, but a PG version of it.  I hate that DX is so over, because they haven’t been relevant in years.

But sure, Big Show and Jericho stood tall over everyone to close out the show.  That’s something!  It should be, but I feel its only building them up so they can fall that much farther.  Take the Kofi vs Randy Orton fued as an example.  At the end of this fued, even if Orton wins every match, Kofi will be raised up the WWE totem pole that much higher.  He will be that much closer to the main event level and maybe holding a World title one day.  However Jeri-Show will be knocked down by the glass ceiling known as DX and be labeled as “just” tag team champions. 

In other news, Miz and Jack Swagger look to be getting a nice fued going.  A positive career thing for both men.  Eve and the Bellas show they’re not ready for prime time.  And WWE must have some sort of lawsuit pending, or a favor due to former host Al Sharpton, because that is the only reason I see for Alicia Fox’s push. 

Finally, whenever Hollywood discovers him, Santino Marella will be gone.  He’s too good to stay in WWE.  Mark my words.

 

Nov
03

Originally posted 07-03-2008 this was the first episode of the Jump the Smarks podcast.  Your hosts, Kevin Hellions and Sweet Matty Treats, discuss WWE Night of Champions.

 

Nov
03

Nov
03

Nikki Roxx, Roxxi of TNA, will always be number one in the minds and hearts of Team Hellions.  Saw her once in 2009, will hopefully see her many times in 2010.  And should certain Hellions books ever go to print, and she agrees, you’ll see her linked to Team Hellions one day.  Anyways, Miss Roxx just came in forth place at the recent NPC New England Championship.  Pictures are on many of the bodybuilding sites and forums, and on Roxxi’s own Facebook page.  They’re also below these words, so start looking!

nikki01

Oct
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Oct
19

A classic Kevin Hellions post from another site.  Originally posted February 1, 2009.

I, Kevin, have no interest in nearly all professional sports. “Hey Kevin, who’s your favorite team?”
Um, Team Hellions?! But the Super Bowl is today and I feel it is my duty, as an American, to watch it. Or its the fact that my Mom is making an awesome (did you just say awesome?) pot of chili, and there should be some good movie trailers during the CommercialBowl!!! But what else is on TV Kevin? (The Super Bowl is scheduled to run 6 – 10:30pm, anything between those times is fair game for this list.)
1. Ghost Hunters marathon until 1am on Sci Fi.
2. Clean House marathon well into tomorrow morning on Style. Yes, I like Clean House. Yes, I see the irony. Trish Suhr is pretty cute though.
3. To Catch a Predator marathon on MSNBC. Again, I see the irony.
4. WEC Best of 2008 on VS. from 6-8pm.
5. mini Doctor Who marathon on BBC America until 8pm.
6. Cheaters marathon on G4. Damn you irony!
7. Redemption Song marathon on Fuse. Hosted by Chris Jericho!
8. UFO Hunters on History channel from 7-8pm.
9. Best Damn Top 100 special on MSG from 7-8pm. Now, while I don’t do sports this, “the most stunning moments in sports” could be entertaining. No different than watching cool stuff on YouTube.
10. Monster House on Cartoon Network from 7-9pm. I’ve yet to watch this movie, what better time than now?
11. America’s Funniest Home Videos on ABC from 7-8pm. What better than a classic?
12. Wipeout from 8-10pm on ABC. America’s less enjoyable but still fun answer to Ninja Warrior.
13. The Simpsons on Fox 8-8:30.
14. American Dad on Fox 8:30-9.
15. Family Guy on Fox 9-9:30.
16. American Dad on Fox 9:30-10.
17. Groundhog Day on WGN from 8-10pm. What better way to celebrate tomorrow?
18. WEC Urijah Faber vs. Jens Pulver on VS from 8-10pm.
19. Star Wars: The Clone Wars on Cartoon Network from 9-9:30.
20. The Secret Saturdays on Cartoon Network from 9:30-10.
21. Wipeout Bowl 1 on ABC from 10-11pm.
22. Adrenaline Rush Hour on Discovery from 10-11pm.
23. Most Shocking – Dangerous Drivers 3 on truTV from 10-11pm.
24. Iron Chef America on Food from 10-11pm.
25. Spider-Man on Disney Toon from 10-10:30pm.
There we go, an easy 25 picks of something to watch other than the SuperBowl. All Kevin approved, and not one thing that any of you can argue “oh, you would never watch that.”

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