My Best Friend You Never Met.

Some of you may find it interesting to learn I am, for the most part, a fairly logical thinking person. And that trait causes me much anguish as an artist and a lover of storytelling. Because in most forms of storytelling/art one must suspend disbelif to become a part of the tellers world. Over the course of my on going love affair with stories I’ve learned, I think, to do this quite well. BUT, there are still things that annoy me greatly. Mostly about television shows.

The biggest one: Story arced guest stars.

You’re puzzled, I know. The line above is confusing because, I’m not entirely sure how to say it in one sentence.

Let me explain.

I mean those characters that come in specifically for a single story arc that sometimes, and sometimes not, lend to the over all arc of the series as a whole, but are treated as if they are characters that have been there all along yet we, the audience, have never seen or heard of them until their on camera introduction.

Phew. That’s an incredibly long-winded, grammatically incorrect sentence there, but hopefully you understand better what I mean.

I hate those. Why pretend as if everyone knows…lets use “Melissa” for argument sake… Melissa since the beginning and they see her all the time, but have your audience be all, “WTF who this bitch be”? WHY WRITERS?”  Would it really be that difficult to just introduce Melissa new? No. No it wouldn’t. And if you need them to know her back-story for whatever reason, oh hey, here’s a thought, introduce a character that happens to be Melissa’s life long friend to come in for an episode and then disappear. But don’t insult my intelligence by calming she’s been there the whole time when I take pride in my fangirling and know every fucking detail of your world; a world I love dearly, sans for a few annoying things such as this.

Oh and speaking of disappearing I hate when they do have the above described guest stars and once their story arc is over they COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR NEVER TO BE HEAR FROM OR SEEN AGAIN….What? But how does he not see his boss anymore. What, are they just missing one another in the office now after all that?! Her sister just stops visiting and that causes no alarm? Their kid is two years old, they’re living in an apartment and are having money issues; how do we never see it? Did they sell the kid into slavery for cash?

UGH X A MILLION.

From a production stand point I understand. There’s a budget, only so much money per episode for guest stars. But still… it bugs the shit out of me.  As a writer on a show I wouldn’t stand for it. Have the boss transfer. Have Melissa graduate. Have the ex that lives across the hall move. Have a scene every other episode with them chillin with their kid. It would take two lines of dialogue tops, like thirty seconds of screen time.  FUCKING WRAP SHIT UP, WRITERS.

I feel better getting that off my chest. Thanks for reading. You’re lovely. Call me….no really…..call me.

That is all.

**** If anyone can name what the line in bold is from, I’ll send them swag. *****

 

[Ed note.  For real!  Crys will send you something awesome!  I cant go into details but if you know where that quote is from you will win something cool from her (and in turn, the site)!!!  Enter until you get it right!  ReTweet and share with your friends!  Maybe they’ll know the answer and will share the prize with you!]

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