#HashtagHorror Troll Hunter

REGALSAYS: Blair Witch meets Cloverfield in an interesting concept but fails to hit the mark at points. Too much CGI for a ‘found footage’ movie, Hardly any suspense and just bits where it’s downright boring.
1 star out of 4

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Wait. This isn’t about killing internet trolls? Talk about being disappointed.

 

This was another one that going in everyone scoffed at horror. This worked as horror if only because of the shaky camera effect, otherwise it really wasn’t that horrifying. Was entertaining, though. Surprise!

@JoeBewick This is like a Greenpeace video… #HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable Oh great, another found footage movie…that hasn’t been done to death. #HastagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Those are called “lights.”

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Hans no last name? From now on he’s Hans Moleman

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror I wonder if Abe Lincoln ever encountered a troll.

@JoeBewick Anyone seen any doggies? Just asking… #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror So someone killed Yogi Bear? Where was Peter Griffin at time of incident…

@JoeBewick Well shit. I thought Brokeback Mountain was the movie with the dead bear? #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror This is difficult to… bear.

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror If any man sized dead chickens turn up dead we know who our guy is.

@JoeBewick Is it wrong that I hope the protagonists die horribly? #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror I want to see the trolls!! Why is that so difficult?

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror these Norwegian folk learnt NOTHING from The Thing and Blair Witch did they?

 

We are 15 minutes into the movie at this point and I haven’t laughed so hard at something in a long while. Hans Moleman comes running up, face in the camera, and screams, “TROLL!!!” And I keep laughing, I wish I could have gotten a screen cap of that, but I try to stick to my 15 minute increments and missed it by about 30 seconds.

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror TROLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror did the monster try to hump the car? Would explain the slime..

@MrsZigglesworth SOMETHIN’ BIT ME! #ForrestGump #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Yet another instance of a car being raped by a troll. When will this stop?

@MrsZigglesworth So “troll” is “troll” in German. Good to know. #HashtagHorror

@MrsZigglesworth I keep expecting Brad Pitt to bust out with his merry men. #Basterds#HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Where are the darkspawn? The Dragon Age references will stop when I say they stop.

@MrsZigglesworth Ok, “wash your armpits & your groin” is not something I’d want to hear from my boss. #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Run, BITCH, RUN!!!

@reedracer Get your hands off me you damn dirty ape! #HashtagHorror <Been saving that one >

 

30 minutes into the movie and I want to see more trolls!

@Kristoffrable The most boring use of night vision in the history of cinematography.#HastagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror I suspected that trolls are fluent in indigestion.

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror The monster looks like a reject from the Lord of the Rings.

@MrsZigglesworth Wouldn’t it actually make more sense to call this “Troll-hunter Hunter” after this scene? #HashtagHorror

@reedracer Lights! #HashtagHorror Rock on

@MrsZigglesworth I thought trolls were supposed to be small enough to live under bridges? #HashtagHorror

@KristoffrableShazbot! It’ the Cerberus of trolls! Strangely, it looks like it came out of Jim Henson’s shop. #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror I have only one response to his plight… trollolololololol.

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror Poor dead bears getting framed for everything.

@JoeBewick I look at those dead bears and think: ‘it’s a fucking good job they aren’t doggies’ #HashtagHorror

@reedracer The bear’s been sleeping in my forest, and he’s still there!#HashtagHorror

 

45 minutes into the movie and the characters need to regroup.

@JoeBewick So…they rubbed themselves….in troll sperm? #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Why they would look for more of these things I’ll never know.

@JoeBewick *GASP* SHEEPIES! #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Ain’t no fucker be using that syringe on me no fucking way.

@JoeBewick RIP Cute Sheepies 2012-2012. We hardly knew thee. #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror “The lambs… They were screaming.”

@MrsZigglesworth Oh noes! Not sheep! How did that work out in Jurassic Park?#HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable So Trolls are the Bigfoot of Norway? Trolls could kick Bigfoots ass.#HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce #HashtagHorror The sheep got quiet. You night even call it “The Silence of the Lambs.”

@reedracer LOL, ’tis but a flesh wound! #HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Now, he needs to “find” a fresh source of Christian blood.

@reedracer They need some Geritroll #HashtagHorror

 

We are now one hour into the movie, and while the picture may look like it’s from the same scene, it’s not, this is the regrouping after the troll under the bridge scene, all for @MrsZigglesworth.

@Kristoffrable A battle area for Troll and those from Rohan. #HashtagHorror

@reedracer They duct taped his jacket, rofl #HashtagHorror

@reedracer One of them kids is a Christian! #HashtagHorror

@JoeBewick That troll sounds like a fallout siren #HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable You know, if the Trolls were going to have company the least they could have done was pick up the joint! #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Where’s a Flash grenade when ya need one.

@Kristoffrable Why do these trolls look like extras from ‘Critters 2.’ #HashtagHorror

@reedracer Gas mask any one? #HashtagHorror

@MrsZigglesworth FINALLY.. THE TROLL HAS COME BACK TO NORWAY! #HashtagHorror

 

1 hour and 15 minutes into the movie. Troll babies are involved!

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror BITCH GET OUT DA ROOM!

@MrsZigglesworth No one here knows when a camera is off. Seriously? #HashtagHorror

@JoeBewick BUT TROLL BABIES! AWWWWWWW. Author’s note: I’m still pissed about the dead sheepies. #HashtagHorror

@MrsZigglesworth Dude, that’s how we feel when Big Show runs around.#HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable Oh shit, he’s going all A-Team on his jeep! #HashtagHorror

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror Any trolls come after me I’m heading straight in the middle of the power lines and taunt it to get me.

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror Thor’s been causing trouble again.

@Kristoffrable The horror is in the fact that I’m really liking this movie. Is that allowed? #HashtagHorror

@reedracer They sure have a lot of full moons in Norway. #HashtagHorror

@reedracer Looks like he got Bieber fever. Might be fatal. #HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable Wait, they get service all the way out there? He must be using AT&T and be a sucker for Stanley Tucci’s voice. #HashtagHorror

 

1 hour and 30 minutes into the movie and we are about at the final boss fight in Troll Hunter!

@FamousPlewa #HashtagHorror He sounds pissed.

@KristoffrableShame it wasn’t a Broll then it would be susceptible to Beiber music.#HashtagHorror

@reedracer Hope they can get their deposit back for their camera woman.#HashtagHorror

@TheSupremeForce#HashtagHorror That was awesome… somehow.

@FamousPlewa#HashtagHorror Well that was interesting somewhat. 2 out of 4 stars.

@MrsZigglesworth I give that a 4 of 5 stars. Stuff actually happened! Who woulda thunk?#HashtagHorror

@Kristoffrable Haha, great flick. Morale of the story? Some Jim Henson shop looking mother fuckers are susceptible to daylight. #HashtagHorror

@reedracer Reminded me of that Korean movie with the loch ness style monster. 4.5 stars! #HashtagHorror

@JoeBewick 4/5 for me. Or 7/10. Whichever suits. #HashtagHorror


One comment on “#HashtagHorror Troll Hunter

  1. Pingback: #HashtagHorror Schedule « Team Hellions

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