The Smarked for Death Wrestling Review for WWE Survivor Series 2012.

 

I know I know!  I’m able to watch a PPV at a time other than weeks later.  Hell, its been difficult to find the time to watch Raw lately.  But I’m wide awake, the TV is on, and I think we need to sit down together and watch this pay per view while reading my thoughts on it.

So in 25 years of Survivor Series there has only been two memorable moments?  The Montreal Screwjob and then Rock and John Cena teaming up last year?  Well then that must mean the bar isn’t set too high tonight right?  Crazy.  There have been plenty of good matches and moments.

Anyways, nice hype video for the two big belts.  Big Show and Sheamus look scary.  Punk looks like a heel but also looks like the world is against him.  That fine line he has been travelling since switching alliances.

Ah, remember when Survivor Series was actually on Thanksgiving night?  Oh that takes me back.  I wonder if I got to watch any of those live.  So much of wrestling becomes a blur.

Bonus Survivor Series match!  Well this could be really great.  Also, that’s 10 more guys (and maybe their seconds) getting paychecks, which is always a good thing.

Brodus Clay (with Naomi and Cameron), Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd, Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio vs. Tensai (no Sakamoto.  Is that gimmick officially over?) Epico and Primo (with Rosa Mendes) (Wait, the Colons are heels?!) and the Prime Time Players.

Hey Jerry Lawler is back tonight!  He’s looking very good.  Hopefully he’s able to do the whole three hours.  Also, the ramp looks to be a bit shorter than usual.  Bit of a different overall stage set up.  Nice, just different.

I really cant believe I’m seeing Darren Young and Titus O’Neil on PPV.  These two have worked so hard to get over and to make their team work.  I have nothing but respect for the PTP.

Michael Cole tries to get over that Gabriel is a thrill seeker.  He stops just short of comparing him to Lance Storm and Chris Jericho.

Sure Brodus and Tensai are in this match but other than that we have four pairs of legit tag teams.  Its a new era of the WWE!  Sin Cara and Mysterio have great chemistry against the Colon family.  Really spectacular.  Tag team matches are a great place to spotlight these quick guys.  Fast tags in and out leads to loads of action in the match and an action packed match is one the fans get into.

There isn’t a whole lot of story or match psychology in the match yet, but with ten guys out there its not necessary.  As soon as I write this we get some plot.  Sin Cara with a hot tag to Brodus and Clay comes in to a huge pop from the crowd.  Brodus cleans house and then we get a spot fest!  The heel teams are dumped out so our friendly neighborhood high flyers can dive to the outside.  The two big guys are left inside the ring and legal.  Brodus botches something and everyone tries to play it up like he meant to dump Tensai on his head.  Hey, you’ve come far Clay but you’re not there yet.  Tensai gives him a receipt for that and Brodus is out of the match.

Justin tries to get his team coming back but Tensai stuffs the South African Superstar down.  Titus comes in and locks on the abdominal stretch.  He needs to add this as a permanent addition to his repertoire   A tall muscular lanky guy like him applies this move in a more spectacular fashion.

Tensai comes back in and goes for a splash, which Gabriel narrowly avoids then loops back to get the surprise pin.  I still feel bad for Tensai and his failed push, but that was quite a good move.  We’re back to four on four and the all new WWE tag team division is in the spotlight tonight.

Jerry Lawler brings up the Gobbly Gooker.  The number one and most lasting Survivor Series memory of all time.

JBL says Primo’s father is a 24 time Puerto Rican champion.  Well, yeah, when you book the company you’re bound to have numerous title reigns.  Jerry Lawler has held over 100 titles.  Guess how many are in Memphis?

Titus gets to show off his strength and he’s really becoming a great ring leader in a short amount of time.  How old is O’Neil?  I’m thinking he has some real world experience that is helping him in the ring.  Tyson Kidd crotches Titus, follows up with a kick to the head, and then springs in for a unique pinning predicament.  Titus is out.

Tyson is still in the ring trying to fend off both Colons.  Its not looking good and all of the fans think the numbers are about to even up again.  But Kidd fights back and locks Epico into …. a Sharpshooter!  The most famous move of Survivor Series and its good to see it on display from the right side of the border.  (As in a Canadian applying it.)  Tyson takes out Epico and its a 4 on 2 match.

Earlier when I said there was no story to the match I didn’t realize how right I was.  The pins are coming out of no where to the surprise of everyone.  Rey just flipped around and pinned Primo.  Darren Young is the only man left on the other side.  All four high flyers hit some quick moves for a spot fest that the kids love.  Darren doesn’t have a chance anymore.  Splash after spinning splash and the last heel is done.  Four survivors stand triumphant.

Kaitlyn is walking backstage and some mysterious “blonde” attacks her.  The blonde and brunette Diva isn’t going to get fooled twice though.  She fights back and to the shock of no one the blonde wig comes off.  Its the formerly blonde Aksana.  Eve runs up to Kaitlyn’s “rescue” and is so happy nothing happened to her before the match.  Kaitlyn dumps Eve on her ass and its time for a Divas match on PPV!

Kaitlyn vs. Eve Torres (Divas champion).

Kaitlyn comes in with that aggression we rarely see out of faces.  She takes it to Eve and Eve is already beaten down within the first minute of the match.  Kaitlyn has been doing really well out here with a little bit of fire in her.  Of course, Eve has to fight back at some point here and a kick is all it takes.  Eve then goes on the offensive and this is where the announcers bring up her five years of training in the Gracie camp.  I would expect more out of her 5 years later.   Alright, maybe that was rude so I’ll try to watch this match with an open mind.

Eve has Kaitlyn trapped in head scissors.  Its actually applied pretty well.  It looks painful and also there’s the possibility her air supply is getting cut off.  Kaitlyn works her way over to the ropes to get the break.  She should have brought her legs over, being longer and all, but the hands led to some good heel work.  Every time Kaitlyn sticks her hands out for the ropes Eve slaps them down.  Its actually a real nice touch.

Kaitlyn gets the break and fights back with everything in her after that.  Eve is terrified and tries anything to avoid the pin.  Kaitlyn hits a finisher and it should be all over but Eve comes back again.  Eve tries to escape and holds on to the ring apron.  Kaitlyn comes out for the fight and that was her mistake.  Eve pulls the ring apron out from under Kaitlyn and she never comes back from that fall.  One finisher later and Eve keeps the Divas title.

I would rather have seen Kaitlyn win but that was a good Divas match.

Team Ziggler has a bit of a disagreement but not nearly as much as Team Foley has.  With the Miz joining the team, and thus beginning his babyface turn, there is nothing but chaos among the good guys.  Hopefully we see a great double turn here with the Miz fully turning and Randy returning to his proper place as a heel.

Antonio Cesaro (US Champion) vs. R-Truth.

Michael Cole lists off other non Americans to hold the US title and I’m a bit shocked to hear names like Finlay and Tajiri mentioned on WWE TV in 2012.  Nothing against those former Superstars but this isn’t a company that usually mentions its past.

Cole then says R-Truth is one of the most eccentric (strange) US champions of all time.  Didn’t he only hold the title for a month?  Truth is not one of the great or remembered US champions in history.

Cesaro is going for a ground game tonight.  He has Truth in a waist lock and is trying to wear him down.  Its a bad move for the crowd, but thankfully he doesn’t hold it for long and uses it as build up.  Wear down that part of Truth’s body and then grab him by the waist for slams and suplexes.  Makes tons of sense and holy crap he’s building up a story in this match.  Truth tries to fight back, Antonio with a trademark uppercut, and then back to that waist lock.  Truth tries to feed off of the fans and rallies up a comeback.  Its a good effort and the crowd is into it.  But once Truth hits a spinning kick and the champion still kicks out the air goes out of the WWE Universe’s lungs.  Truth hits that suplex into an Ace Crusher that I love so much and should be his official finisher.  And that’s still not enough.  Antonio shakes the cobwebs loose and comes back for the Annihilator   Damn he’s good and the WWE bookers are very much solidly behind him.

Long live Antonio Cesaro!

The TLC commercial from the law offices of David Otunga is fantastic.  That’s one that’s going to get attention from non wrestling fans, and hopefully it will be played on non wrestling shows as well.

The Rock has officially tweeted that he gets the WWE title shot at the 2013 Royal Rumble.  Well, that lines up with all of the booking rumors going around right now.

Nothing kills PPV momentum like a long highlight video.  You all get caught up on the AJ and Cena and Vickie stuff I’m going to go read War and Peace.  Twice.

Well if WWE wants me to come back interested having AJ bounce out there is a good way.  Let us know what’s up Miss Lee!  Vickie comes out all sorts of upset over the possibility that AJ will actually have some evidence.  AJ’s very obviously Photoshopped pictures get close to some Attitude era humor.  The crowd and the announcers love a good slobber knocker joke.

AJ and Vickie get into it.  AJ drops the bomb that Vickie cant touch her either, or else she will also be fired.  As if Vickie knew this ahead of time AJ is attacked from behind… by Tamina?!  Well WWE remembered they have some more Divas sitting backstage waiting to do something, anything.  Tamina destroys AJ and a new feud that could be very good is born.

Josh Matthews interviews Paul Heyman and its another good Heyman promo.  He gets over the WWE title, CM Punk, John Cena and Ryback while being a heel as well.  Take notes and listen up everyone else!  Put over your opponent so it looks like you beat someone of talent.  Then put over yourself even higher.

Sheamus vs. The Big Show (World champion).

Even though Show is the champion, Sheamus is so over I really thought he would be out second.  Holy shit is that Brock Lesnar fan in the front row?!

I cant stop laughing.  Future Slammy Award winning fan of the year!

Sheamus takes it right to Big Show with some furious aggression.  He must have been taking notes from Kaitlyn.  Show gets trapped in the ropes, beat across the chest 10 times, and then tackled out on the floor.  Its a good switch for Sheamus to play the lighter faster man.  Sheamus comes off the top rope and is met by a massive spear from Show.  That’s all it takes to switch this momentum over.  Big Show stalks Sheamus and begins taking apart the Fiery Red Hand.

Did they actually bring up Show’s new contract heel turn?  That was a horrible idea but it led to this Big Nasty (oh yeah, remember that one?) and any bad angle is worth it if there is successful character growth afterwards.

Show controls the entire match and its impressive but I’ll admit we’re all zoning out.  Me, the fans in attendance  all of us.  Then Big Show climbs the ropes for some stupid ass reason and Sheamus halts him.  Sheamus gets Show’s big ass up on his shoulders and drops him back for an electric chair.  Well that was impressive as hell.

Sheamus and Show start trading clubbering blows.  Sheamus keeps fighting back and its so strange seeing him as the little man but he’s doing a damn good job of it.  Show stops the Brogue Kick but Sheamus shows off some incredible strength and gets Biggie up for White Noise.

It really looks like Sheamus is the more dominant man out here tonight.  Nothing is going to stop him.  Sheamus has all the momentum behind him and gears up for a Brogue Kick but the Big Show moves the referee in the way!  Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick on the referee and everything just kind of stops while everyone checks on Scott Armstrong.  Show takes advantage of this and hits a knockout punch on Sheamus.  One of the referees that’s checking on Scoot Armstrong counts the pin because that’s what referees are supposed to do.

Another referee comes in and reverses that decision.  Show is now disqualified for putting his hands on the referee.  Yay the crowd cheers.  Um, Big Show is still champion.  It really doesn’t matter.  Nor does it matter that Show is upset.  He’s still champion.  I know there’s the glory of being champion and picking up the win.

While Show argues with the referee Sheamus grabs a chair and starts beating Show about the back with it.  Hmmm… when is the TLC PPV?  Next month you say?  And Sheamus just used a chair?  I wonder if these two men will have a rematch at that show.

Big Show is a wounded monster and begs Sheamus to stop.  Sheamus throws down the chair and walks away just far enough to get a running start for the Brogue Kick.

Its a crap ending for this PPV but as part of the larger story it should lead to a great match next month.

I really don’t understand spending PPV money for a concert.  But then again I’m not a huge music person.  This message sponsored by Rolling Stones and WWE.

Team Ziggler:  Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez), Damien Sandow, David Otunga, Wade Barret and Dolph Ziggler vs. Team Foley: Mick Foley (not wrestling captain), Kane and Daniel Bryan – Team HellNo (WWE tag team champions), the “Wildcat” Kofi Kingston (Intercontinental champion), the Miz and Randy Orton.

JBL calling his Cabinet the “antithesis of the IV Horsemen” is one of the funniest and greatest lines I’ve ever heard in all my years watching wrestling.  Shout outs to the Bashams, Orlando Jordan and Amy Webber.

Lot of talent in this ring.  I’m very curious how this one plays out.  Kofi tries for a quick pin on Otunga.  David is great at avoiding any devastating hits.  Much like his wife!  Alright, that was a lame joke.  Moving on now.

Daniel Bryan is destroying Sandow and it looks to be all over for the intellectual.  But he’s smart enough to walk away.  Damien abandons his team and starts heading to the back but not fast enough.  Kane catches him and tosses Damien back into the ring.  One choke slam from Kane is all it takes to officially eliminate Sandow from the match.

Daniel Bryan argues with Kane and it goes a bit too far.  Kane knocks Daniel out of the ring and this arguement is all it takes for the next legal member of the opposing team, Dolph Ziggler, to jump on Kane’s back and drop him with a Zig Zag.  Kane has been eliminated.

Kofi hits Ziggler with a monkey flip and its the biggest flip seen in years.  He may have rotated twice.  There’s a new highlight video move.

Otunga is in and looked good for his short time.  He knocks Bryan down and poses in such a way that it ruins the pin attempt.  Shoulders aren’t down.  Speaking of shoulders, Bryan pops out and grabs hold of Otunga’s shoulder along with the rest of the arm to latch on the Yes/No Lock.  David Otunga has been eliminated.

Kofi comes in like the house of fire.  I honestly would have been shocked if he pinned Del Rio.  Wade’s elbow is now called the Bull Hammer.  I tell you this because he has now tagged in and hit the Bull Hammer on Kofi for the pin.  The Wildcat has been eliminated.

Miz either is refusing to tag in or wont tag with certain people.  Randy sticks his hand out for a tag but Miz stands there.  Daniel comes in because, you know, the match has to keep going.

Daniel and Del Rio go at it and I want to see this feud.  Maybe even for a title.  The battle of the arm based submission moves.  Del Rio fights out of the Yes Lock attempt but Daniel immediately taps out of the Arm bar.  That was such a brief glimmer of great chemistry.  Fingers crossed for this future feud.

Miz comes in and the story becomes can Miz and Randy Orton get along?  The match is getting that feeling where the wrestlers are killing time and building up to the story line that must take place in the final moments.  I’m really starting to think my Miz and Orton theories are about to come true.

Del Rio lays a beating on Randy but he finally fights back.  Miz gets the hot tag and the fans are getting behind him already.  This could be a great face turn.  And a successful one as well.

Wade attempts to hit Wasteland, which I had totally forgotten about and Miz reverses it.  Skull crushing for the pin!  Well Miz has already taken out a top level heel where he was previously failing to take out faces.  Miz almost takes out Del Rio but Alberto fights back and dumps Miz on his head.  The most watched elimination in Survivor Series history takes place.

Its down to Randy Orton (who has been the sole survivor three previous times) vs. Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler.  So either Orton gets beat, and should.  Or Randy is about to take out two guys single handed who should be booked as main event world champions.

Randy catches a flying Del Rio (and I suddenly want Jesse Ventura to call an ADR match) with a dropkick.  Looks like Randy has this won but Ricardo distracts him.  Del Rio with a kick to the head.  And still Orton kicks out!  Ricardo tries to interfere again but Mick Foley reminds us all he’s at ringside and takes Rodriguez out with a punch and a Mister Socko.

Ziggler tries to dropkick Randy but hits Del Rio instead.  Orton tosses Dolph into the ring post then hits an RKO on Del Rio.  Its down to Dolph vs. Randy.  Well damn looks like Orton is going to pull this one off as well.  Ziggler is still hung up on the ring post and doesn’t look like he has any fight or energy in him what so ever.  Orton goes for the RKO but Dolph hangs on to the ropes!  Dolph hits a Zig Zag!  Randy kicks out at two.  Boooo!!!!

Dolph pops back up but he’s too frustrated to really do anything.  Randy tastes his own blood and begins to focus his attack.  Rope assisted DDT for the set up.  Randy drops down for the RKO but then stops.  What in the hell?  Orton backs up and is this the return of the Punt?!

NO!  Randy comes in for it but is met by a … superkick?!  Dolph with a superkick?!  Ziggler drops down on Orton after exerting his last bit of energy and pins Randy Orton.  Dolph Ziggler is the sole survivor!  That was one hell of an ending!

What the hell is The Day?  Is it an action movie?  Survival story?  Horror?  I think the only thing I’m sure about is that it will be unwatched.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: John Cena vs. CM Punk (Champion, with Paul Heyman). vs. Ryback.

Why is Ryback coming out last?  I know he’s over but he’s not the champion.  Punk is on his 364th day as WWE Champion.  Damn that’s impressive.  Impressive enough to be introduced last.

The story is going to be seeing Ryback vs. Cena.  So far they’ve almost fought, but its more that they both want their hands on Punk.  Punk sells for Ryback better than anyone else.  The fans start chanting CM Punk or Lets Go Cena.  Not a one chanting Ryback, even though he is in the ring and Punk is not.

Ryback and Cena start going at it and if anything it spotlights how good Punk is.  John cannot make Ryback look as good as Punk can.  Ryback shows off some disgusting strength.  He takes a suplex, pops right up, presses Punk then tosses him over his head.  Well, damn.

Punk rolls out and Cena comes in to… put a chin lock on Ryback!  Action packed!  Look, I like John Cena.  I do.  I am far from a hater.  But he cant carry someone.

Whoa whoa wait.  When did Cena start wearing khaki shorts?  I don’t remember seeing a press release.

Aw shit.  Punk flips over Cena and has his neck bent back.  Its a wearing down move.  Ryback comes in and deadlifts Punk up from this spot for a slam.  That was crazy.  Cena tries to take out Ryback but the beast pops right back up.  Ryback is doing a great job of selling but not stopping.

Punk locks on a chin lock on Ryback and that’s probably for the best.  Let him catch his breathe, and mount a come back.  The fans start to chant Feed Me More and Ryback Hulks up.  Ryback starts up the clothesline train.  He pumps the guns and runs in for the Meathook clothesline.  Ryback very easily picks up Punk and marches around to set up Shell Shock but falls?  John Cena grabbed Ryback’s legs and took him down!  Cena locks on an STF and lets see if this monster can fight back.

Punk climbs the ropes and dives down onto both men.  He drives the elbow into Cena and all of this squashes Ryback.  Its a nasty fall for Punk and that arm cant be 100% right now.

Cena fights out of an GTS attempt.  The two trade punches with neither finding an advantage.  Ryback reminds them both that he’s there with a double clothesline.  Ryback tosses both men to the outside.  For what?  Ryback goes for a double suplex and no one thinks he can pull it off.  We wont find out because Punk and Cena fight back.  This is very interesting.  Punk and Cena team up to take out the mutual threat known as the Ryback.

Team up suplex and Ryback goes through the announce table!  This is some great booking.  Ryback is now taken out.  Punk and Cena can go at it, and as proven before they can put on a 5 star match.  All of this can lead up to a dramatic come back from the beast.  How can you not be excited for this bout?

CM Punk and John Cena are back in the ring and hitting all their familiar moves.  Cena  with the 5 moves of doom, Punk fights back and hits a clean GTS!  Everyone thinks that’s it, but John still kicks out.  Cena pops back and hits the Attitude Adjustment but Punk kicks out of that one too!  These two have evened out their finishers and its anyone’s fight now.

Both men are hurt and a little loss.  What to do next?  What will work?  Cena locks on another STF and that could be it but he’s dragged out by the returning Ryback!  Ryback takes Cena out on the outside and its time to destroy Punk.  Meathook.  Shell Shock.  And Cena dives in!  These guys are really showing off the chaos and unpredictability that can only happen in a three way match.

Shell Shock on Cena and that’s it!  What in the hell?  Three men just jumped in the ring and are attacking Ryback.  They’re dressed as security but very obviously not.  We get good looks at the guys and its a three way NXT debut!  Seth Rollins, Roman Reigns, and Dean Ambrose.

John Cena is out, Ryback is taken out by three men and this leaves only one man remaining.  The man who now cements a one year title reign.  Punk takes the easy pickings and pins John Cena.

You gotta love Punk’s unofficial army.  I am shocked Kassius Ohno was not a part of this.

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