Team Hellions

Today Kevin Hellions discovers the song Blah Blah Blah by Ke$ha. Hilarity ensues.

Picture after the jump. NSFW.

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Picture after the jump. NSFW.

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Picture after the jump. NSFW.

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Picture after the jump. NSFW. Read more…

Picture after the jump. NSFW.

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Today, Kevin Hellions discovers the song Tik Tok by Kei$ha. He has never heard this song previously to reading the lyrics. If you have a song you would like him to discover, comment below. And don’t forget to rate and subscribe while you’re here.

Originally posted at Hellions Magazine site, 3/8/07.

Buffy Season Eight #1 Review

This is a response to the review at WindyHarbor

I’m not going to recap the plot of the issue yet again here. You can read above if you want that. I will however give opinions. This is widescreen, big budget, summer movie Buffy. However, as with most summer movies, there is a lot of action, but an equal amount of writing problems. I like Joss Whedon, don’t get me wrong, but I expected more.
First of all, there’s a difference between paying homage and stealing ideas. Xander making a Nick Fury joke is an homage. How can a guy be in charge of a “secret” organization while wearing an eye patch and not make a Fury reference. However, I feel that the solitary male who watches multiple screens of his team on a mission has been overdone. From the Weatherman in Stormwatch, to Oracle, to Mockingbird (Villains United) to too many other names, it’s overdone. Granted Xander has never been the front line leader. He’s no Captain America (or else he’d be dead! Ouch. Too soon?), but he is a well rounded character that doesn’t need a reused gimmick. The Xander that we all know and love is the one cracking jokes with Buffy while staring at a creepy scar symbol.
Secondly, part of Buffy’s story was admitting to making mistakes and learning from them. Joss should take a lesson from his creation. This three Buffy thing, one of which is a fake currently dating the Immortal seems like an easy out to cover up an unpopular scene on Angel. You made a mistake, admit to it, but not in this garbage ret-con kind of way.
Thirdly, 9/11 was five and a half years ago. Most of us are tired of it being used, veiled or not, as a sub plot. All that needs to be said is, hey this girl and her friends are powerful and they may have destroyed a city. We’re scared of what’s next so we’re going to track her down. There is no need to bring in the words “terrorists” and “sleeper cell”. The problem with bringing real world problems into the comic world is that inevitably we will ask, “why doesn’t (insert character’s name) take care of this problem?” Bin Laden should not be mentioned in Superman, because Superman can’t remove a real world threat as easily as Brainiac.
Finally, where exactly does one buy giant pants? If Dawn grew to gigantic proportions due to sex then she would, in theory, be naked. Therefore, nothing should have happened to her clothes. Will Buffy cross over into the Fantastic Four and ask Reed Richards for some unstable molecules brand clothing? Or am I giving this too much thought? There’s always been a part of Buffy that was based in the real world, and this moment took me out of that place. All I ask is for Dawn to be clothed in circus tents instead of brand name clothing. Come on, when has the Gap ever had clothes for girls over 100 pounds? To say nothing of a girl that’s 100 feet tall.
Don’t get me wrong, I did like this comic. But it can be better. Even in this age of DVD box sets and graphic novels the single issue/episode can be something special. The issue lacked a reason why behind nearly every page. I realize much of it is to set up later issues, but at the end I felt like yelling, “he’s making it up as he goes along!” Why is this happening, Joss? Why did that happen? And he replies to me, “I don’t know yet, but doesn’t it look cool?” Well, yes, it does look cool but I need more than looks in my comics. I need to feel, I need to care. If I wanted things that looked pretty but had nothing to them I’d buy 90’s comics out of the 25 cent bin. You are one of the best writers that the geek culture has right now, but you still need to show it every so often. In the end I felt like I was reading fan fiction season 8, not something official. I’ll be back next month to see where it goes, but remember, there are many shows cancelled after only a few episodes. There’s a difference between “make them wait” and not giving them anything at all.

Originally posted at old Hellions Magazine site, 3/9/07.

Original story here.

As much as I love G.I. Joe I don’t think we need a live action movie. An animated movie, sure. The only way a live action movie could work is if it was a live action cartoon. Corny plot, corny dialog, over the top and loads of fun. The fact that they want to get rid of Cobra and go with a more “the world in 2007″ version is crap. If I want to feel the pain of the world, I’ll watch the news. If I want to enjoy some nostalgia, then give me a G.I. Joe movie to make me smile.

And, AND, the fact that they need to replace Roadblock with Heavy Duty is ridiculous. Heavy Duty is a copy of Roadblock, just younger. Look, here’s Roadblock:

and here’s Heavy Duty:

Just two black guys that carry big guns. But at least Roadblock had some personality. He spoke in rhyme, he wanted to be a chef. What’s Heavy Duty got? Nothing. More accessories, maybe.

Nothing will happen to this until the studios see how well Transformers does this summer, I’m sure. But I still have a bad bad feeling about it. Why can’t the 80’s stay where they were?