So read my review of the show, then order so you can watch it yourself!

This was a crazy pay per view.  I got to sit back and just watch it.  Not tweeting every match, not writing up my review as it happens. No this was like it used to be in a simpler time.  Thankfully it was also a great show.

Kane vs. Randy Orton has done nothing for me.  Not one match, move, or promo.  Nothing against either man, the match itself was fine.  But it lacked any meaning.  There was nothing to invest in the battle.  It was a fine brawl.  Numerous two counts, plenty of brawling.  And then it was over.

Brodus Clay getting a win over Dolph Ziggler bothered me at first.  Dolph should be getting built up to a world title push, instead he’s losing to someone who has yet to learn how to work.  But that is why he lost this match, and the whole point of it.  Its showing amazing faith in Dolph.  He is joining the broomstick group.  The short list of guys who could have a great match with a broomstick.  Ziggler made Brodus look good.  Swagger and Vickie helped a lot too.  The Funkasaurus isn’t going to be winning eithe r big belt.  BUt he is popular, and he needs to be built up more.  New stars always need to be made.  It was a good way to teach Brodus some things in the ring, and also have him look like a stronger competitor.

The ending of Cody Rhodes vs. Big Show was brilliant.  Wrestling matches have had people win before – not because they were the better wrestler, but because they were the better thinker.  This was one of those matches.  Show didn’t get beat, but he did lose.  Such a simple move.  Putting his foot down for balance, and yet that was all it took to end the match.  They even planned it well.  Show backed down into the table after taking a kick from Cody, thus it still looks like an offensive move.  One of the more brilliant endings I’ve seen in wrestling.

Ryback squash.  It doesn’t matter who he beat.  Not at all.  Its always great to bring in a new ridiculously powerful guy and have him destroy anyone who gets in teh ring with him.  But listen to the crowd.  They’re all chanting “Goldberg”.  Keep building up Ryback.  He’s not too bad in the ring and might become more than just a muscle guy.  But distinguish him somehow.  He needs something to differentiate him so these chants don’t continue.

Not since Rick Rude and Sting had an Iron Man match have I seen anyone pull off what Daniel Bryan did tonight, and did well.  Now maybe a 2/3 match wasn’t the best time to do it.  Losing one fall in an Iron Man match which could have any number of pins doesn’t matter.  But to be down one out of two is dangerous.  As shown by Bryan losing.  But to beat the hell out of Sheamus and damn the consequences of the first fall was great.  Then a Yes Lock and Bryan looked unstoppable.  Sheamus needed this win to look strong but Daniel doesn’t need anything.  He’s cocky, he’s an asshole, he’s better than near anyone else he gets in the ring with and yet he’s cheered every time he comes out.  Great match too.

Nikki Bella (or is it Brie?) (Divas champion) vs. ???

We all wanted Kharma to come out.  And we’re all expecting the Bellas to be done with WWE soon.  However, Layla is still a welcome sight to see.  ITs what it had to be.  An exit for the twins, and a huge return to remind fans just who Layla is and why she matters.  Defeating both twins pushed her right up into the spotlight.  Of course winning that title doesn’t hurt either.  Its a bad place for Layla to be though because she’s going to be ignored and unappreciated while everyone waits and expects Kharma’s return.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena.

In the first minute of the match John Cena gets busted open.  Do you understand how huge this is?  WWE has nearly eliminated showing blood.  No one blades.  Matches have been stopped for just a trickle.  And here is THE Man in WWE with a huge gash on his hairline.  Blood is pouring through his buzz cut and onto the canvas.  WWE just doesn’t do this anymore.  Everyone in the arena is shocked.

Booking Brock likes he’s still in UFC is amazing.  Stiff shots, sponsors, blood.  He is worth every million pennies they’re paying him.  A referee bump too just to really fuck with the fans.  The blood gets worse and Brock is even smearing it across his chest.

Its a batshit insane match.  Its the Thing vs. Hulk.  Two men who have been booked as super beings collide.  Which one is more super?  Brock takes a nasty fall to the outside and feeds on it.  Cena hits Lesnar with a chain and now they’re both bleeding.

John hits Brock with the chain, hits an AA on steel steps and… that’s the pin?!  What in the hell?  They book Brock to lose his first match back?  That doesn’t seem right.

John Cena doesn’t move his left arm at all after the match.  And now the true story of the match might be coming out.  Cena may have won this battle but if that arm is as hurt as he’s letting on, Brock won the war.  Cena gets on the mic and says he’s going away for awhile.  What?!  The champ is heading out?  Could it be the arm, could it be a movie, or could it be he’s been working 400 days a year the last few years and he deserves a few weeks at home to chill?

Dark match:

Dean Ambrose beats Tyson Kidd.

Superstars:

Beth Phoenix beats Alicia Fox.

Tensai beats Alex Riley.

via Pussyowl – The Owl and Pussycat Web Comic 16-7 Despair Squid.

The best drawn, funniest, and most rewarding web comic on the digital stands today.

Damn if I haven’t been working this one over in my head all week.  Here’s the original assignment:

Take a peek at a fictional character’s social media account. What would his or her Twitter feed or Facebook page look like?

After seeing so many League members show off their talents with mock up Twitter and Facebook pages I strongly debated on skipping this week.  I’m could teach myself how to do it, but it was just such a busy week that didn’t happen.  Nor was there that one character who I felt deserved their own page and yet didn’t have one already.  (Seriously, how damn funny is Drunk Hulk on Twitter?!)

But, while organizing my comics this weekend (and being no where near done with that project) I found a forgotten comic and also found my answer.

Damage Control.

Sure they started out as a joke.  Sure the Damage that they Control is mostly physical damage.  And sure, as the world’s only Speedball-ologist I own these comics because the one and only Robbie Baldwin is inside of many of them.  So I feel that this property is a perfect answer for this week’s League question.

It would look like all other Twitter and Facebook pages.  If these two social media juggernauts (pun intended) exist in the Marvel Universe, then heroes, villains, sidekicks, assistants, and any other creature that exists would have their own page.  With every status update or Instagram picture the likelihood raises higher and higher that one of these posts will backfire.  A group of people will be insulted, a drunken picture will be uploaded, a relationship break up will become far too public.  If you’re Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Doctor Doom or even Aunt May — chances are you have at least a Facebook page and you have posted something on there that you regret.

The TMZ and Perez Hiltons of the Marvel Universe will pounce on these mistakes.  A great PR team will need to be hired to fix everything.  That PR team is Damage Control.

Yes, a Damage Control for your worst 140 characters.

They can make sure our Friendly Neighborhood friend doesn’t confuse his @Peter_Parker and @Spider-Man accounts.  Damage Control will issue Johnny Storm a cease and desist later to stop tagging Doctor Doom in pictures of prunes on Facebook.  And who do you think created Matt Murdock’s “I’m not Daredevil” shirt?

via Pussyowl – The Owl & Pussycat Web Comic 16-6 Elation Eel.

One of the best pieces of art I’ve seen.  Elation Eel is the best!

A WWE event in Brazil came to a screeching halt Thursday evening … when local law enforcement stopped a live match and threatened to arrest Chris Jericho for desecrating the Brazilian flag.

It all went down during a match between Jericho and C.M. Punk — who was proudly waving the flag in the ring. Jericho took the flag away, crumpled it up and kicked the flag out of the ring … and that’s when police stepped in and put a stop to the event.

We’re told Jericho was informed that desecrating the national flag is a crime in Brazil … punishable by incarceration.

Cops gave Jericho an option — apologize to the arena … or go to jail. Chris chose the former … grabbing the mic and telling the crowd he immediately regretted his actions. Cops allowed the event to continue.

Sources connected to the WWE tell TMZ … the flag stunt was NOT planned or approved by WWE officials.

The WWE has just released an official statement saying, “Chris Jericho has been suspended indefinitely due to an irresponsible act of denigrating the Brazilian flag at a WWE event in Sao Paulo on May 24. The WWE has apologized to the citizens and the government of Brazil for this incident.”

Jericho has tweeted about the incident … saying, ” Just for the record I love Brazil and wish we could’ve spent more time here. Beautiful country!”

They also found videos of the event:

Do you hear the fans?  Does anyone sound ready to riot?  Does anyone actually sound upset?  No!  They realize its a joke, Jericho is playing a bad guy, and its all part of the show.  No one took it seriously nor did anyone feel threatened by Chris Jericho’s actions.

And yet, here is Chris Jericho, now indefinitely suspended from WWE due to his actions.  Actions WWE says they had no part of.

What a crock of shit.

Once again, WWE deflects any responsibility by having one of their wrestlers take the fall.  Add this to a long line of wrestlers being fired, or suspended, for their actions while WWE washes their hands of the incidents and feigns ignorance.

Remember when JBL did the goose step in Germany?

Or when Daniel Bryan choked Justin Roberts and was then fired – thus missing out on the huge Nexus angle.

Fit Finlay was fired after the Miz interrupted the Star Spangled Banner.  You know, being a heel.

If anyone had a problem with desecrating a flag then footage of Shawn Michaels shoving the Canadian flag up his nose and then humping it on the mat before the infamous Survivor Series match would not be shown on a regular basis.

Where was the uproar over Ariel Celeste and Chandella Powell in the Brazil Flag ring girl outfit for UFC?  Isn’t that desecrating the flag in a way?  (Yes, its not the actual flag blah blah, I’m trying to make an overall point here.)

Chris Jericho = Scapegoat and its not right.

Short answer, its a fine X-Men comic but does nothing for the new readers the gimmick is trying to bring in.

To elaborate.  This team of X-Men are trying to solve mysteries involving their old bad guys the Marauders and some dead bodies and things like that.  Black Widow appears, because she’s in the Avengers movie and the mainstream should be well aware of that by now.  Black Widow’s casual dress reflects her costume.  Same with Northstar’s t-shirt.  I would definitely buy a line of Marvel comics based clothing that looks “normal” yet reflects various super hero costumes.  It would be like one big public in joke.  Normal people would see a regular shirt.  Comic book fans would see kindred spirits.

Anyways, back to the book.  For long time comic book readers everything works.  Mystery, time and place jumps, mind control, it all makes sense within the familiar rules of comics.  I hadn’t read the previous issues and yet had no trouble following everything here.  Also, get rid of any unified Marvel continuity because this doesn’t reflect AVX, Avengers Assemble, or anything else happening at this time in other books.  Its easy to keep up though.  I don’t think I ever saw Warbird before, but I’m familiar with the Shi’ar and had no trouble accepting this character.

BUT!

If I were to, oh I don’t know, only hear about this comic book from watching The View I would be lost.

http://teamhellions.com/2012/05/24/marvels-announcement-on-the-view-and-whats-missing/

Wolverine would be familiar.  Iceman and Gambit slightly so.  Karma would be an unknown.  Warbird is beyond an unknown, because I wouldn’t have a clue what a Shi’ar is.  Worst of all, I wouldn’t know who or what Northstar is!

Lets look at it from a non comic fans perspective.  Hey, this is the gay character.  He has pointy ears.  Is he like Spock?  So he can fly and punch hard.  Can Spock fly?  I don’t remember pointy eared people having the powers of flight or hard punching.  If pointy ear flying man is actually incredibly rich and losing 10 million is “just money” then why does he have a cell phone from five years ago?  I’m not rich nor do I live in a world of flying people, but my cell phone is still better than that.  Also, if the whole point of buying this issue is to celebrate the engagement of these two gay characters then wouldn’t it be great if they actually got engaged?!

Now in the next issue Kyle and Northstar need to get officially engaged, plan a wedding, and apparently have that wedding.  Also, the X-Men in this issue need to be healed from mind control, stop the bad guys, head back to headquarters, change into nicer clothes, invite their mutant and super hero friends, and then attend some wedding.  All of this in 22 pages?  One if not both stories are going to get shorted.  Either the mystery wont matter, or the wedding wont.  No matter the outcome, it ultimately means that one or both stories in the next issue will be shit, because they will be rushed.

Yay for gay wedding, and truly showing diversity in the Marvel Universe, and in all of comics.  Full credit to Marvel for having the issue and wanting to promote it.  However, as a comic book for fans or to bring in new ones, it fails.