Kevin Hellions
kristoffrable
crysleiws
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stateofthelinds
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Sweet Matty TreatsFrom the Stratusphere Yoga mailing list:
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Former WWE Diva Trish Stratus on TV and Magazine Stands Tomorrow.
Posted: May 24, 2012 by Kevin Hellions in Wrestling NewsTags: Breakfast Television, BT, Canadian, cover, Divas, Inside Fitness, magazine, Met Con Blue, Stratusphere, Stratusphere Yoga, Trish Stratus, TV, wrestling, WWE, yoga
Top 4 of Superstars 5/24/12
Posted: May 24, 2012 by solacewinter in Wrestling Reviews and CommentaryTags: 2012, 5/24/12, Hellions, Kevin, May, review, solace, Team, Top 4 of Superstars, Winter, WWE
I’m going to get in so much trouble this week.
4. Zack Ryder vs. Heath Slater
I like Ryder, I was a fan of his when I first saw him on ECW when he was still rocking the one pant leg on his attire. As he grew I enjoyed him more. Even as he became a walking-catch-phrase I enjoyed him. But as someone else pointed out, he’s the lowest rung guy to have entered the Five Moves of Doom territory which made this match have not only a predictable ending, but a predictable story. Slater takes it all like a champ and Scott does his best to commentate some livelihood into it, but even Ryder seems to be frustrated as he does his, “What?” when it’s only a 2 count and instead of looking a the ref, or Slater, or anyone else, he kind of stares at the tron. People are losing interest in Ryder, but I fear it might be because he’s lost interest himself.
3. Kofi Kingston and R-Truth vs. JTG and Michael McGillicutty
Again, a terribly predictable ending, but the storytelling and match choreography is not as predictable. Kofi does his, “Boom! Boom!” and JTG makes fun of it outside of the ring with McGillicutty laughing beside him. McGillicutty and JTG actually have great chemistry as a tag team and move like they have been working with each other for months as opposed to having had a one-off sometime months ago. McGillicutty does a baseball slide and a flip to Truth that left me impressed and JTG gets a chance to not just be a comedic act in the ring. R-Truth is great, he has fun, but Kofi is the same ol’ same ol’. Luckily, Scott’s commentary keeps the slow parts of the match lively.
2. Scott Stanford
Speaking of Scott. Yes, he’s number two this week, but in my heart you know he’s number one, but this week a match won out. Scott has great one-liners, as usual, and explains about his learning exactly what a “Honky Tonk Badonka donk” is as well as explaining that the reason Slater was eliminated first in the last battle royale is because no one wanted to take on Khali and that he was willing to do it, though in retrospect it might not have been the best idea. Scott lends his voice and storytelling to Superstars, as usual, and he awakens the two matches he sat in for. But one match stood out on its own…
1. Antonio Cesaro vs. Tyson Kidd
Yes, Cesaro won. Yes, it was predictable. Yes, I like Kidd more. BUT, and it’s a good one, this was an incredible match. Kidd can’t put on a bad match (when he’s not told to take the squash) and this time they are given the opportunity to use up their abilities on one another. Kidd makes Cesaro look good and Cesaro seems to either take things more seriously now that he’s been brought up, or his skill has grown in spades in just a few short weeks. Either way, this match shines out through the others. And Cesaro was accompanied by Aksana, which is always a plus.
And I’m blaming the fact that Scott didn’t wear a tie this week for the reason he is at number two.
Scott’s best lines of Superstars:
“The freshness of JTG with the ground and pound stylings of McGillicutty.”
“Truth working on getting Lil’ Jimmy a Championship belt.”
“JTG, he wouldn’t be a dinosaur, he would be a flynosaur.”
“That’s gotta do it! JTG to pick up the win here on Super- No!”
“Honky Tonk Badonka Donk.”
“You know, Flo Rida talks a bit game, I don’t know if he’d actually want to step into a WWE ring with Heath Slater.”
“So you don’t get Beyonce one night, you use Heath Slater.”
“You know what show I haven’t been on? Are You Serious with you and Road Dogg.”
“Broski Boot into your living room!”
Record Review: ‘The Only Place’ by Best Coast
Posted: May 24, 2012 by kristoffrable in Music Reviews and OpinionsTags: Best Coast, Bethany Cosentino, Bob Bruno, Jon Brion, Mexican Summer, music, Music Reviews
When last we left Best Coast at the tail end of 2010, they had put forth a fantastic album, Crazy for You, an album that instrumentally didn’t blow you away, buy lyrically was relatable, sentimental, and yearning. Hell, I had a crush on Bethany Cosentino after listening, she bore her soul in a way that I hadn’t heard in some time, and damn if she isn’t stunningly beautiful. Not to mention that the innocence that she displayed made you want to show her the world. OK, enough gushing. It’s 2012 now and we have a new album from the duo that is Cosentino and Bob Bruno, but a lot has changed, including my Bethany (If I didn’t have artistic integrity, I would put an emoticon at the end of that, but God damnit, we’re professionals, sort of.).
This time around, that outspoken, adventurous seeking girl has now become the introverted one who desires to be home. Now, she’s reverted to a Kurt Cobain kind of state where, as she says on the track “My Life,” “My mom was right, I don’t want to die, I wan’t to live my life.” Granted, nonstop touring, promotion and recording is no doubt a cause, but in a way that defeats the purpose of getting your music out there at the level that they have, and it alienates the friends and fans they’ve made.
With Jon Brion behind the wheel, a man that brought you Fiona Apple, Kanye West, and Of Montreal, this album is undeserving of his great talent. Granted, instrumentally, Best Coast are up to their same tricks, bringing you the nice summer companion to a hopefully less rainy time of the year. Let’s just say, with The Only Place, Best Coast have stepped on a shit ton of spiders and hope for the worst. As a fan, I feel betrayed for buying their first album, their iTunes sessions, and for oogling over Bethany (Yeah, there probably could be a restraining order from me, but I’ve contained myself thus far!). In the end, this album is just, eeeeeeeeh, and if that sounded like a donkey, well, hopefully you’re as frustrated as me. Sincerely, Kristoffrable, fan forever, but we need a break. Sorry, I know it’s internet based, but we need a break Best Coast. I’ll be thinking of you.
Album Rating: 
If you’d like your music reviewed on teamhellions.com email recordreviewsonhellions@gmail.com
Astonishing X-Men #50 Review. The X-Men Gay Wedding Proposal Issue You Heard About.
Posted: May 24, 2012 by Kevin Hellions in Comic Books Reviews and OpinionsTags: Andy Troy, Astonishing, comic books, comics, engagement, gay, Marjorie Liu, Marvel, Marvel comics, Mike Perkins, Northstar, proposal, View, wedding, X-Men
From Marvel Comics, Marjorie Liu, Mike Perkins, Andy Troy.
Short answer, its a fine X-Men comic but does nothing for the new readers the gimmick is trying to bring in.
To elaborate. This team of X-Men are trying to solve mysteries involving their old bad guys the Marauders and some dead bodies and things like that. Black Widow appears, because she’s in the Avengers movie and the mainstream should be well aware of that by now. Black Widow’s casual dress reflects her costume. Same with Northstar’s t-shirt. I would definitely buy a line of Marvel comics based clothing that looks “normal” yet reflects various super hero costumes. It would be like one big public in joke. Normal people would see a regular shirt. Comic book fans would see kindred spirits.
Anyways, back to the book. For long time comic book readers everything works. Mystery, time and place jumps, mind control, it all makes sense within the familiar rules of comics. I hadn’t read the previous issues and yet had no trouble following everything here. Also, get rid of any unified Marvel continuity because this doesn’t reflect AVX, Avengers Assemble, or anything else happening at this time in other books. Its easy to keep up though. I don’t think I ever saw Warbird before, but I’m familiar with the Shi’ar and had no trouble accepting this character.
BUT!
If I were to, oh I don’t know, only hear about this comic book from watching The View I would be lost.
http://teamhellions.com/2012/05/24/marvels-announcement-on-the-view-and-whats-missing/
Wolverine would be familiar. Iceman and Gambit slightly so. Karma would be an unknown. Warbird is beyond an unknown, because I wouldn’t have a clue what a Shi’ar is. Worst of all, I wouldn’t know who or what Northstar is!
Lets look at it from a non comic fans perspective. Hey, this is the gay character. He has pointy ears. Is he like Spock? So he can fly and punch hard. Can Spock fly? I don’t remember pointy eared people having the powers of flight or hard punching. If pointy ear flying man is actually incredibly rich and losing 10 million is “just money” then why does he have a cell phone from five years ago? I’m not rich nor do I live in a world of flying people, but my cell phone is still better than that. Also, if the whole point of buying this issue is to celebrate the engagement of these two gay characters then wouldn’t it be great if they actually got engaged?!
Now in the next issue Kyle and Northstar need to get officially engaged, plan a wedding, and apparently have that wedding. Also, the X-Men in this issue need to be healed from mind control, stop the bad guys, head back to headquarters, change into nicer clothes, invite their mutant and super hero friends, and then attend some wedding. All of this in 22 pages? One if not both stories are going to get shorted. Either the mystery wont matter, or the wedding wont. No matter the outcome, it ultimately means that one or both stories in the next issue will be shit, because they will be rushed.
Yay for gay wedding, and truly showing diversity in the Marvel Universe, and in all of comics. Full credit to Marvel for having the issue and wanting to promote it. However, as a comic book for fans or to bring in new ones, it fails.
Marvel’s Announcement on The View… and What’s Missing.
Posted: May 24, 2012 by Kevin Hellions in Comic Books Reviews and OpinionsTags: ABC, Announcement, Astonishing, comic books, comics, gay, marriage, Northstar, View, wedding, X-Men
Great! Marvel Comics got less than 60 seconds on a major network TV show to announce this non-event event book. Fans already knew, but how did this help out any new fans? If at all.
It didn’t.
No where in this incredibly short segment were any details mentioned. Just off the top of my head, the following things weren’t mentioned.
Who Northstar is.
Who the X-Men are.
Who the creative team is for this issue.
How much it costs.
But most of all….
Where to BUY IT!!!!
Borders is closed. Barnes and Noble get their single issue comics on the stands two weeks after they come out at comic book shops. Which means the announcement of “out now!” would mean “out in two weeks”. Unless you are aware there are comic book shops, and know where to find them. Or even things like ComiXology.
Again, as I said in my review of the comic….
… I am thrilled that this comic exists. Great moment for diversity and equality. But its execution is failing.
We need more Entertainment in Sports Entertainment
Posted: May 24, 2012 by stateofthelinds in UncategorizedOne of the best parts of being part of the Team Hellions Universe is being tuned into the finer and often overlooked parts of the WWE wrestling industry. For the most part my viewership isn’t one of a super serious fan, but more of one who enjoys the entertainment value of what the WWE provides. I don’t need to quote stats, but when my fellows Hellions who are super-fans do, and write great articles I can’t help but take notice of certain things.
SolaceWinter wrote this great piece on Drew McIntyre and she points out, quite effectively how UNDERused McEntyre is. http://teamhellions.com/2012/05/23/top-4-of-drew-mcintyre/
I think the problem lies with the writers for Drew, and many of the other under-utilized talent in the WWE. They traffic in stereotypes. Now, mind you, I didn’t watch the earlier wrestling dynasties, but is it me or was there a bunch more flavor in the characters back then? Just watching the occasional flash back clips you have dynamic characters like Jimmy Superfly Snuka, Bret “The Hitman” Hart, Andre the Giant, Ric Flair, and so many more! Even their names have drama! Wrestlers now, most of them, are just a regular name and their characters are mostly “Silent but Deadly” (I love you, Mark Henry, and you make it work, but it doesn’t work for everyone) or “Slightly kooky” like Santino. You have the “Unbeatables” like Cena and Orton, or the “Immortals” like HBK and Undertaker. With dozens of wrestlers on the roster why is there not more…flavor? Yes, the Funkasaurus might be absolutely outrageous but he is MEMORABLE. The Universe loves his song, his funktastic dancers! If this is Sports ENTERTAINMENT, give us more entertainment!
And there are a few steps in the right direction, but only tentative ones (such as with David Otunga). The problem is that the WWE lets talent come in, flash bright, and burn out quickly. With the exception of Shameus, R Truth, and Daniel Bryan, most of these men show up strong and are soon relegated to dark-match status since the WWE doesn’t know what to do with them. I am a huge fan of Alex Riley, and thought his rivalry against the Miz was full of energy, entertainment value, and solid wrestling. Riley was surprisingly decent on the mic and good in the ring, and I felt he held his own against the enigmatic Miz. And the Miz, a wrestler I loved to hate…what happened? Why is he so low on the totem pole right now? I thought he would be a great foe for Jericho. And there are so many other examples one could list here that it’s frustrating.
However, lets not leave out the women here. Oh the Divas. My perpetual potty break time during RAW. And I am not the only viewer who sees the women’s division is in a pathetic state. They’re trying to rest the integrity of women wrestlers on Beth Phoenix’s shoulders, and while she does an admirable job, she can’t do it alone. Kelly Kelly, Eve, Layla, they’re all capable but essentially are pretty candy. I recently read an article (during my obsessive searches on when she’s coming back) that the WWE creative team doesn’t know what to do with power house Kharma. Seriously? YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER? Do the words “KHARMASMASH” mean anything? Bring her in, shake up the Divas! And then, before she becomes unbeatable, bring in other strong women wrestlers and make this division EXCITING again! The Divas don’t just need to be barbie dolls, give them more credit. See my other blog on the Divas issue here: http://stateofthelinds.wordpress.com/2012/01/31/kharma-returns/
I am going to say this frankly, the creative team for the WWE needs to pull their heads out of their butts before the talent wises up and moves on. They need to look/write outside of the box, and really notice who and what the Universe pays for—and it’s not just John Cena. And the Talent should keep using whatever means they can to promote themselves, like Zach Ryder did. Having “character” should by no means indicate that a wrestler is not serious or extremely skilled, an idea that should also be embraced by the writers. As a viewer I don’t want to lose great up and coming talent (Tyler Reks and Curt Hawkins come to mind—Thanks SolaceWinter!) or wrestlers who are/were long over due for the push they deserve, like John Morrison.
People Power? Lets hope you’re listening, Vince (Johnny or whomever ) cause the people want MORE as we deserve better.
Fathom: Kiani #2 Review.
Posted: May 24, 2012 by Kevin Hellions in Comic Books Reviews and OpinionsTags: Aspen, Aspen comics, comic books, comics, Fathom, John Starr, Josh Reed, Kiani, Oliver Nome, Reviews, Vince Hernandez
From Aspen Comics, Vince Hernandez, Oliver Nome, John Starr, Josh Reed.
Fathom: Kiani #0 Review.
http://teamhellions.com/2012/03/02/fathom-kiani-0-advanced-review-from-aspen-comics/
Fathom: Kiani #1 Review.
http://teamhellions.com/2012/04/13/fathom-kiani-volume-2-1-review/
Two (well technically three) issues into this series and what more can I say? The writing is still wonderful. The art gets better and better with each issue. The further this tale unfolds the more rounded the characters become. The world becomes larger. And this is where casual readers will become obsessed. With knowledge that there is a larger world, there must also be the knowledge that yours is not the only (nor correct) point of view. Yet it is yours, and you must be true to it. In the same way Saba, Thalassar, and for damn sure Kiani all have their own reasons for every single action, which are right for themselves.
Vince Hernandez has gone as far back as Paradise Lost. He then took comic book influences like Doctor Doom, Magneto and Marvel’s Civil War and said to himself, I can do this right. Hernandez isn’t moving pieces around without thought. Each decision, every motivation rings true for that character. It is how great antagonists (I don’t want to say villains, and thus the broader word) should always be written. The reader can agree with them either entirely, or up until the tipping point.
Although it is hard to argue anything against a force like Kiani. The strength, the speed, and the weaponry. I don’t care how good DC Comics’ New 52 Aquaman is. I don’t care that Namor is in the X-Men now and a part of the huge AVX thing. Kiani is the best water associated character in comics today. Never once has she been lame. No one needs to cut off her hand. Or to retcon her as “the first mutant”. She died and came back stronger than ever. Not only is she an underwater based character, which often gets crapped on by fans. She is also a SHE! That died and came back! Better! Wasp is still dead and Oracle was in a wheelchair for nearly 30 years. Don’t let the outfit (which makes sense for the character and within the world) fool you. Kiani is all about portraying women as strong.
Speaking of that world, each and every time I read and re-read this book I discover more detail. The inks and colors create a great sense of depth and to my own fault I concentrate on the foreground. When on the second or third reading though, the backgrounds come to life. The technology, the architecture, every nuance is strange and yet makes sense at the same time. It is a Jack Kirby level of drawing the fantastic and the alien yet every piece, every bit of it, looks like it “works”.
An enjoyable comic book reading experience and nothing but huge recommendations for this book.
