The League of Extraordinary Bloggers – Guilty Pleasures.

league-guiltypleasures

Its another week for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers.  Which means a new week of topics given to us by our fearless leader, Brian of Cool and Collected.  Brian what do you have for us this week?

Guilty pleasures.

Well I very loudly exclaim my love for comics, wrestling, cartoons.  Even My Little Pony.  So there’s not a whole lot of guilty pleasures.  Something very few of you know about that I love.

Then the wife and I got all excited and sat down to watch TV Tuesday night and I realized the topic was right in front of me.

I, Kevin Hellions, love the hell out of Pretty Little Liars.

PrettyShh

I know!  I know!  I’m better than this!  We both are.  Let me explain.

About three years ago when Elise and I were about to go to sleep we would play Whose Line is it Anyways on ABC Family as our mindless falling asleep show.  Something for sound that really didn’t have plot and thus we could shut our brains off and relax.  Well, ABC Family is very good at hyping other things on the channel.  Thus the Pretty Little Liars promos began.

LUCY HALE

At first we made fun of these commercials.  There has always been shows that feature very attractive teens with way too much money who find themselves involved in weekly doses of drama.  90210, Dawson’s Creek, The OC and on and on.  This would be no different.  But there is a giant murder mystery over all of it.  By the time we saw the 100th commercial the actors became more interesting and the scandal of a dead body led us to decide to watch the first episode.  “For fun” and ironically.

Here we are at the end of the third season and we have watched every episode.

PrettyHanna

Let me make the premise as simple as possible.  Five girls are friends but one is actually a horrible manipulative twat.  She dies.  No one knows who did it.  Everyone in the town is a suspect and everyone has secrets.  We follow the four girls who are still alive and hope they are alright because even though they’ve done some shitty things too they’re still the heroes of the story.

We haven’t read any of the books, because they might reveal things that the show has not brought up yet.

PrettyEmily

Speaking of things the show brings up.   All you need is one episode with a reveal and you will sit through hours and hours of nothing happening just waiting for that moment when another person reveals their true selves.  I’ll try to stay spoiler free here.  But the moment that someone’s friend revealed her heightened mental state and true evil we were floored and became fans for life.  The show could turn to shit, and some episodes feel like it already has.  But that reveal was built up so well and blew our minds.

I’m ashamed to admit it but there have been weeks in which I put aside The Walking Dead for Pretty Little Liars.

I know!  I should have taken this secret to the grave.  Now you all know.  Well, two can keep a secret when one of them is dead.

PrettySpencer

Just for fun I typed my thoughts while watching the Season 3 finale this week.  This is horrible, but we’re being honest here right?  Stick around to links for the rest of the League.

Oh look Spencer is back and out of the mental hospital.  She’s obviously setting up something nasty here.  I woudn’t be shocked if she’s doing it and its not really her parents setting it all up.

Back to A’s headquarters.  Well, Mona’s and who ever is in the hoodie this time.  Very likely Spencer but we cant be sure.  Also where the shit does all of this money and equipment come from and not be known by anyone?  There is some lackluster parenting in this town.

Aria’s boyfriend’s baby momma is looking for a babysitter.  Definitely one of the more bullshit unnecessary stories.

Shauna is trouble.  Because she doesn’t hit on Hannah. And because she’s just trouble.  Also, another unnecessary extra plot.

Holy shit Jenna is back!  Its been many many episodes since we’ve seen her.  One of the A’s is at her door step watching her.  And sends a text to Jenna.  Then disappears.  She’s magic!

Jenna heads to the woods for a clandestine meeting.  With Shauna?!  Well suddenly she matters a lot more.  Is she part of the A Team?  Does this make Jenna bi?  So many new questions for the next season.

Ezra takes a new teaching job, because now he has a kid and all.  But Aria doesn’t care for this.  It might mess up her life.  Ezra really needs to start fucking girls his own age and rid himself of this high school shit.

Elise points out, “because having her ex teach her is so much better than having her boyfriend teach her.”

A is waiting for someone.  A mysterious figure shows up.  Double reveal!  The hoodie is covering Spencer and the figure is Toby!  He’s not dead!  Spencer has some crazy reveals.  They both say they’re pretending to work with Mona to keep each other safe.  But Spencer reveals that she was the kidnapper from last episode.  She took this heel turn real fast.

Hannah is showing Ezra’s kid pictures of people she knows to try to figure out who kidnapped him.  Hannah gets up to make a call and lets the kid play with her phone.  I bet he’ll see Spencer’s picture!

Emily is running and sees Spencer’s sister Melissa go into a house.  She meets up with Shauna and Jenna.  Holy shit all the villains are teaming up.  This season finale is becoming the Legion of Doom.

Toby reveals to Spencer that the red hooded person is in charge.  I will shit if Jason Todd shows up.

The kid sees a picture of Allison and Spencer and tells Hannah he found Allison.  Hannah assumes he means the actual Allison and then realizes he means Spencer.

The girls, minus Spencer, get together to share information.  Someone is watching them.  Someone is always watching them.

Toby and Spencer have sex.  Is this their first time?  I cant remember.  It was teased so many times.

Elise points out Motel.  Mona.  MO.  OMG!

Ezra takes the job.  Aria shuts her vajayjay down.

There’s a red hood!  Spencer sees a red hood!  Is there no other clothing in this town in this town?  Must only one person wear red?  Spencer trails Red Hood and turns a corner where almost everyone is wearing red.  She thinks she finds the right one again and follows her into the women’s room.  And its Hannah?!

All of the girls purposely tricked Hannah into coming in the room.  If she didn’t know who Red is then maybe she can be saved.  Kind of a nice friend thing.

Spencer claims she sent Hannah the picture so they could figure out her double agent secret without Mona knowing.  Alright, maybe.

All the girls are dressed up for this very strange family event.

Someone is outside taping them.

Spencer and Toby make out.  Mona freaks out and wants to know what’s happening.  Toby was the one recording them.

There’s a fucking helicopter involved?!  A fucking helicopter?  Mona is talking to someone on the phone, most likely Red Coat, and she (I assume) is arriving by mother fucking helicopter.  What in the shit?

Mona hands Toby  a flashlight.  Toby turns heel, again?, and takes Spencer out.  Aria, Hannah and Emily have arrived and are secretly watching this.

And Toby and Spencer have some sort of plan here.  There has already been like 50 turns.

Someone just locked a door.  Mona is trapped by the other three girls.  The helicopter, sorry some sort of private plane, touches down.

Whoever locked the door now starts a fire.  Mona and our three heroines are trapped while the house fills with smoke.  Pretty good amount too.  Mona freaks out and reveals that she doesn’t know who Red Coat is either.

Oh look Red Coat is getting off the plane!  And yeah, she looks a whole lot like Allison.

But if she just got off the plane then who the hell locked the rest of the group in?  Mysteries on top of mysteries here.

Someone hits Toby from behind, knocks him out, and leaves a lighter there to frame him.

The girls passed out inside but Red Coat drags them from the building.  Hannah wakes up and sees Red Coat, who looks a lot like Allison.  Hannah, Spencer and Mona all think they saw Allison.  As Red Coat.

The four drive back and keep Mona in the middle to make her talk.  The girls speculate its an Ally mask.  Because that makes more sense.

Oh, Hannah and her mom covered up what they thought was evidence of a police officer’s death and dumped the car in the lake.  The car appears out of no where, with dash board computer still working.  Jenna and Shauna help the officer up!  This conspiracy is getting larger and larger.

“You’re mine now.  Kisses.”  -A.

The girls find something in the trunk.

What in the hell?!  Someone is rising up from a grave?

And that’s the end?!

 

See what the rest of the League has to be embarrassed about this week!

LINKS!

About these ads

My Top 10 Guilty Pleasure Songs

Let’s face it, we all have them. Don’t lie, I know you do, I CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH YOU AND STOP JUDGING ME!!! Phew, okay, now that I have that out of my system, I present to you, my top 10 guilty pleasure songs.

10. Natasha Bedingfield – “Pocket Full of Sunshine”

I blame the film Easy A for liking this song, but it’s so incredibly catchy. The music video makes me laugh; parachutes, and a guy getting upset that he’s being arrested for spray painting a wall. Seriously dude? What is that like a small fine? I hope the video wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, or the song for that matter. And what the hell was going on with that kid approaching Natasha in the flower; if that didn’t have sexual undertones (I’m thinking Venus here), then I should be committed.

9. Men without Hats – “Safety Dance”

This should have been the theme to the remake of Footloose (why the hell did they remake that film again?), but sadly it’s just another one of those 80′s songs that everybody knows the lyrics to. It may have even lead to a bad karaoke moment, and while I have attended many-a-karaoke-night, this song has never crossed my mind. Regardless, when alone, who doesn’t sing this song if it comes on?

8. Boy George – “The Crying Game”

I don’t know what it is about this song, but I’m a sucker for it. Perhaps it’s the mood the song creates, but I love this song. Strangely enough, this has to be the most 80′s like song to come out of the 90′s. Admittedly, I’ve never seen the film The Crying Game, but this song does make me want to check it out, and I’ll be damned if I’m losing a man card over this!

7. Abba – “Dancing Queen”

I blame my mother for this one, and what the hell does it mean to “jive?” Did guys score with chicks out on the dance floor with this song? Judging by the look on the guitar players face in a couple shots of this video, apparently they did. And seriously, the chick in this song is 17, isn’t that like pedophilia? Because I’m sure her parents are cool with it. The 70′s were a strange time, and before writing this piece, I’ve never payed attention to the lyrics, and now that I have, I feel dirty.

6. Black Eyed Peas – “I’ve Got a Feeling”

Damnit, why couldn’t it have been the Beatles song of the same name. I have the feeling that if you started to sing this song before going  out, that something bad will happen to you, like a microwavable bowl of cereal (that’s man code, and let me tell you it’s not good.), or say you get your ass kicked. BEP set the bar too high with this song, mainly because, tonight really isn’t going to be a good night, don’t kid yourself.

5. Queen – “Princes of the Universe”

As much as you love Queen or Highlander, this is the worst song of their career, but they do it with such grandiose, how can you not love it! Plus, that’s an awfully bold claim to be making, because I don’t consider anybody in Highlander to be a prince of the universe. Strangely enough, this song contains within it, one of the best Brian May solos of all time, which is it’s only redemptive quality. I hate putting them in the category, but just listen to it, and you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

4. Europe – “The Final Countdown”

Armed with badly epic keyboard riffs and a passion for counting down, Europe picked a bad name for it’s band. Seriously, if you don’t have an affinity for numbers, It makes me hope that there are Europeans who take offense to this song and band. It’s so over the top, well maybe tripping over the top, but it’s there in all it’s lackluster brilliance. Who doesn’t stop when they hear this song, and embrace the epic-ness that is “The Final Countdown.”

3. LMFAO – “Sexy and I Know It”

My wife will love that I’m admitting to liking this song, but holy hell it’s as over the top as “The Final Countdown.” Some would say that  I lack the “passion in my pants” when it comes to this song, but I say, nay. I get that it’s not suppose to be serious music, and sometimes I let that seriousness get in the way, but holy hell you cannot help but let this song infuse your bod, sing, and dance to it. You have to give it up for a music video that has so many cameos and for one mans ability to rip off a speedo to reveal another speedo. Brilliant, just brilliant.

2. Bryan Adams – “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You”

Perhaps I was just a sucker for the Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves film, but I grew up with this song, and despite how bad this movie was (though Alan Rickman was fantastic in it), it song gets me every time. I apologize for the sad video, unfortunately, Brian Adams disables his embeds by request, but I’ll look past that this time. It might have been a better movie if they’d have gotten someone other than Kevin Costner to play the lead, but a bad performance deserves a sappy song I suppose.

1. Patrick Swayze – “She’s Like the Wind”

Swayze is like the ultimate promoting tool, he danced, acted, and sung for Dirty Dancing, and this resulting song, how can you not love it. Who thought the guy from Road House, could be this tender, I mean… dammit, stop it, I’m refusing to lose man cards on this post. Dammit, well it’s too late for that now I guess so I’ll just say it; Patrick Swayze, you were a sexy, sexy man, a guy I could go gay for, if I felt comfortable doing that. R.I.P. Patrick Swazye, you sexy beast.

If you’ve managed to make it through this post, please let us know what some of your guilty pleasures are…don’t worry, we don’t judge.

If you’d like your music reviewed on teamhellions.com email recordreviewsonhellions@gmail.com