Wouldn’t It Be Fun If The Phantom Menace Was Good?!

Hey! Check out this video from Belated Media called, “What If Star Wars Episode I The Phantom Menace Was Good?” in which your host, Michael Barryte, sits down with the Episode I script as is.  He then makes slight changes to it and creates a much better, hell even iconic movie.  Watch and dream of what could have been.

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League Assignment: “Where Are They Now?” The Monster Squad.

In the comments for last week’s League assignment I started to fantasy plot a sequel to the Monster Squad.  Coincidentally, this is the idea behind this week’s theme for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers:

The 80′s and 90′s were filled with kids and teens in the movies. Which movie would you like to see a sequel made in 2012 with the original cast members, who have aged the same as you and me. 

I debated on the direction this story should take.  Should the sequel be light or dark?  Then I re-read the question, “original cast members”.  Well that decides it, certain things need to be addressed and by doing so the direction of this story is set.

Before I plot that out though let me tell you the light sequel idea.  In this version the squad has stayed together throughout the years and each threat represents a different time in the horror field.  They fought giant animals and insects, aliens from outer space, slasher killers and more.  Hell, there’s even a Scooby Doo version of the Squad in this lighter take.

Back to the dark version though.

The Monster Squad Returns!

The movie opens at “Horace’s Fat Kid Comics” the local comic book and collectibles toy store that is run by Eugene.  Horace was killed in one of the Squad’s further adventures and Eugene named his store after his fallen friend.  The store is also the new headquarters for the Monster Squad.  The rest of the team shows up:  Patrick is a professor who studies mythology and cryptozoology.  Think of him like Giles on Buffy.  Rudy is scarred and battle weary but still the coolest guy in the room.  He has been traveling the world battling monsters and tracking down talismans.  He is the Squad’s warrior and makes repeated mention of “her”.  Patrick’s sister is there waiting for her husband, Sean to arrive.  She complains that he’s always late.  The door opens and… its EJ.  He was so moved by Horace’s heroic actions that he spent years making amends for his bully ways and eventually becoming a member of the team.

They leave in two cars and head to Scary German Guy’s funeral.  Its raining, because in a story like this it has to, and there is Sean.  Already soaking wet, he has obviously been there for hours.  The Squad talks to Sean, they try yet again to cheer him up but it becomes obvious that this talk has happened many many times previously.  Since their epic battle as seen in the first movie, Sean has felt like a failure.  Rudy looked stronger, a six year old girl had to help, Frankenstein’s Monster turned good, and Van Helsing himself had to crawl out of limbo to save the day at the last second.  Sean is consumed with being stronger, better, but has always felt like he isn’t good enough.  Especially when compared to his younger sister.

Meanwhile, strange things start occurring.  Unexplained deaths in the theater, strange sounds in the church’s bell towers, an unseen assailant, and other bumps in the night.  The villains stand revealed.  “Non” Universal monsters The Phantom of the Opera, The Hunchback, the Invisible Man along with young wolfmen and other gill men creatures are now enacting their decades old plan.  There is enough supernatural power left in the town’s square to open a portal to limbo once more.  They hope to open this, bring back their fallen monsters breathren, and take over the world.  They are led by this version of Count Dracula’s long lost love… the Bride of Frankenstein.

The entire squad battle these monsters all over the town.  Their backs are against the wall, all hope is lost, when the saving angel appears.  Phoebe is back.

After saving the world at six years old she dedicated her life to hunting monsters.  She is Buffy, Elsa Bloodstone and Cassie Hack all rolled into one.  She is also the most beautiful woman on the planet and, sorry boys, still a virgin.  Hey, you save time and space because of your purity and you’re not going to be in any rush to lose it either!

To tell more would be to spoil the end of the movie.  However, I feel all of us children of the 80s would spend a fortune seeing and re-watching this movie.