Smarked for Death – WWE Smackdown 7/1/11.

Oh, its looks like it time to watch some Christian cable television.  Its time for Smackdown.

What does this do?

Teddy Long makes tonight’s matches and they could have repercussions on the upcoming pay per view.  You know, things that every main event should have – consequences.

Randy Orton (World champion) vs. Mark Henry

This isn’t a good sign for Mark’s recent push.  Its the opening match of the show, and he’s in there against the world champion.  Orton tries to take it right to Mark, overwhelming the big man before he can string together any moves.  Henry has become too good for that though and he fights back.  Mark Henry is just far too powerful for the champion to fight against.  He’s become quicker, meaner and more confident.  If this were a comic I would think he had been replaced by a Skrull.  Michael Cole tells us that he joined WWE the same year as Mark Henry.  And up until this year they were equally successful in the ring.  Orton bloodies up his nose and that should be the least of his worries after running down Mark’s in ring skills during a radio interview.  Big Show’s music plays and Mark turns around to face him.  There is no Show, there is only RKO.  Randy hits an RKO outside the ring, Henry is knocked out and Orton wins via count out.

I don’t know how many times I’ve seen a wrestler roll into the ring, thus breaking and restarting the count.  Mark Henry did not receive that courtesy.  I know, I know, trying to throw logic into a place where it cannot hope to survive.

Mark Henry is all sorts of pissed off over this musical trick.  He starts to tear apart the technicians’ area and some indy wrestler with A/V experience is about to get his ass kicked.  Or thrown a good 15 feet.

Daniel Bryan vs. Ted DiBiase

Nice little story like continuity when both men don’t get ring entrance music.  Michael Cole say that Ted and Cody played “bag the nerd” last week.  This is why he’s paid the big bucks fans!  Its like listening to Gordon Solie all over again.  Ted tries for a leapfrog but Daniel grabs his legs mid air and pulls him down.  Bryan is getting a chance to show off some wrestling this week.  Someone must have fallen asleep backstage.  DiBiase hits a beautiful dropkick and its enough to take advantage of the match.  Ted hits Bryan with an adequate clothesline but Daniel sells it like a gun shot.  Daniel fights back, starts to land some kicks, but Ted fights back.  Bryan reverses it into a Labell Lock but DiBiase fights out of that.  The match is actually becoming good.  Ted catches Bryan coming off the ring apron, and rams Daniel into the post and the barrier wall.  Daniel starts clutching his shoulder like its been driven out of socket.  The match continues back and forth, and its better than anything these two have done maybe all year.  Daniel locks on something like a guillotine joke for the tap out victory.

Teddy Long and Christian miss each other so much, they’re going to talk again.  More matches are made!

Master of Evil, Cody Rhodes, berates Ted for his  loss and mediocrity.

There is a review of the Great Khali’s recent story arc, including comments which are live via satellite from Ranjin Singh.  This was as enthralling as you imagine.

Christian vs. Sin Cara

In case you were wondering, yes the ring is bathed in Sin Cara’s trademark lighting.  Sin Cara does some flips and it scares Christian out of the ring.  After the summersaults run out, Christian dumps Blue Cara to the outside of the ring.  Wrestling in countless trios matches wasn’t enough preparation for landing on the WWE padding of the arena.  Christian outclasses the Luchador until he commits to soon to a diving headbutt.  Sin Cara moves aside and Captain Charisma crashes hard.  Christian takes a lot of small moves but always manages to evade anything potentially devastating from Sin Cara.  The masked one becomes so frustrated that he even attempts to sneak a pin with  a roll up.  Christian evades Sin Cara’s best attempt and responds with a Spear for the pin.

Cody Rhodes vs. Ezekiel Jackson (Intercontinental champion) (with Ted DiBiase)

I wonder if this match could work for a moment with the heel and face roles reversed.  Big Zeke throws Cody around for a few and if I was sitting in the front row I would have thrown the towel in for Cody already.  He is taking a violent beating.  Cody rolls out of the ring, then under it, and Jackson is still inexperienced enough to fall for this.  Michael Cole has Josh Matthews explain the term “shoots the half” to him.  Isn’t this a conversation that should have taken place ten years ago?  Backstage?  Jackson fights back and Cody’s spine must be exploding in pain by now.  Ted distracts Zeke, allowing Cody to take advantage with his spring board kick.  One Cross Rhodes later and Cody Rhodes has pinned the Intercontinental champion!

Johnny Curtis continues to rip off the much better Zack Ryder Long Island Iced Z show.

The Raw Rewind is amazing just to see what the WWE production department has done with CM Punk’s amazing promo from Raw.  The announcers tell the viewing audience (if you didn’t already know) that CM Punk was indefinitely suspended after Raw.

Kane vs. Wade Barrett

This match is a preview of Money in the Bank, but without a ladder anywhere nearby.  It is weird to see Wade come out to the ring without anyone by his side.  Kane is a three time World champion?  So are they counting the defunct WWE-ECW title as a world title?  Wade wants to be on his own, but Booker is saying he might need a manager.  Booker as manager could be an interesting story.  Barrett is quicker than Kane and probably only a small fraction away from being of equal strength.  Wade’s kicks connect with such force that the entire crowd flinches.  This is a move that should be exploited.  Wade controls the beginning of the match but the turning point comes when Kane hits a cross body to the surprise of everyone.  It becomes a collision of monsters as Kane brings on the power but Wade hangs in there with the big red machine.  Wade misses a big kick and gets hung up on the ropes.  Kane doesn’t let this mistake slip by, and choke slams Wade for the pin.

Teddy Long brings out Christian and the world champion, Randy Orton out for a contract signing for the Money in the Bank pay per view.  Christian announces that in the contract it states that if he loses due to poor officiating again, he gets an immediate rematch.  WWE brings back Randy Orton’s anger management issues.  There’s a lot of talking by both men until Orton signs the contract.  Christian has his lawyer double check the paper work, which is such a great heel move.  Before Christian can sign, everyone looks off camera and Sheamus is back!  Sheamus beats the hell out of Orton until Christian makes the mistake of getting in his face.  Christian gets put down and Orton eats a Brogue Kick.

Amazing return for Sheamus and a great lead in for the PPV.


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