Every time I tune into RAW, Smackdown, Superstars or NXT, there is always a fashion item, worn by WWE superstars, that just makes me scratch my head. Most recently, during an episode of Smackdown, a certain wrestler, who will be featured later in this article, had on a piece of attire that made me feel stricken, like my head had been bashed off of a wall. After an ensuing conversation with one Kevin Hellions, it led me to expose these greatest fashion blunders that can be ignored no further!
5. “Showtime” Percy Watson’s Hipster Glasses
During Watson’s rookie year on NXT, he was the party guy, but WWE has also hyped him as a really smart guy also. But, these hipster freaking glasses make Watson look ridiculous. All I can think of is Jack Gladney from the novel White Noise and he was a hipster too. You’ve got skills man, but drop those damn glasses, they make you look like a fool! The only way it could get better, is if he could get together with David Otunga, and find a sweater-vest to go with it.
4. Zack Ryder’s Half Trunk/Half Short attire
I’m glad to see Zack getting the exposure he deserves after his YouTube show, but these half-whatever-the-hell you want to call them are hard to categorize. Can you take a wrestler serious who wears this? I know I can’t. Note, this does not help you enhance your package, and if you’re trying to accomplish that, let’s hope it’s marketed to the right crowd, which I don’t believe is the ladies. Woo Woo Woo, No No No!
3. Santino Marella’s Cobra Sock Puppet
The only time it was ever acceptable for someone to wear socks on their hands was Rue to keep her hands warm during the 74th annual Hunger Games. Other than that, ummm no. This has been done once, It was funny for a short time, and then it was just overdone. And now it’s back, and instead it’s a cobra, how awesome. Hopefully, someone can come up with the hand puppet of a mongoose to take it out, and I’ll be holding out hope for that one.
2. Chris Jericho’s Lite Brite Jacket
I never had the fortune of owning a Lite Brite when I was a kid, but now I get to see one wrestle every week on RAW. Seriously, was your jaw not dropping at the sight of this thing. I really hope those are LED lights man, because if they’re not, they drain the batteries really quick. Next think you know, this thing will start inducing world wide seizures. Happy to have Jericho back, but can his Wrestlemania match with CM Punk be Title vs. Jacket so at least we have a chance of never seeing it again?
1. Dolph Ziggler’s Mudflap/Assflap
This is the one fashion piece that started it all. I have coined this the mudflap, and every time I see it, I lose a few IQ points. What exactly is it suppose to be? In all honesty, it looks like you just forgot to put your shirt on and decided to slap it to your sides and let it cover your ass. Speaking of asses, Dolph has almost become the new Billy Gunn, I mean, come on, he does the “Fame Asser,” so in taking on that new responsibility, why would you want to cover your greatest asset in this situation? I just hope that the WWE doesn’t start selling mudflaps!