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Chuck E Cheese Girl:
It’s time for another Weird news, where hapless horrors and hebdomadary hilarity happens!
This just in: Is that a gun in your pocket?, Chuck E. is your Daddy now! and Rumors? I’m spreading way more than just rumors!
A man in Iowa City, Iowa walked into a local grocery store and helped himself to beer, chips and Salsa Con Queso, Medium, cause they were out of hot. and proceeded to eat and drink the items in the store’s men’s room. He then spread the cheesy condiment all over the walls of the restroom and left. Police later apprehended Blake Oren Robinson and charged him with “committing criminal mischief with the cheese”. Iowa City police asked Robinson why he cheesed up the men’s room to which he replied “I thought it would be funny” Nobody else in iowa City thought it was funny which is why Robinson was just hired to write for the TV show “Whitney”
Speaking of horrible things, Chuck E. Cheese pizza. (pause) A Bel Air, Maryland couple were watching the eleven o’clock news when they noticed that their 3 year old daughter Harmony was on. It was at that point they both realized they had left her at a local Chuck E. Cheese earlier that day. the couple told Bel Air police that they had completly forgot their daughter was with them at the kid’s themed pizza and game restaurant cause, you know, adults go there all the time for a date night. The child was very resouceful, though, constructing a shelter out of paper plates and bread sticks and had fashioned crude weapons made out of the hardest substance she could find, Chuck E. Cheese pizza.
And finally, Seventeen year old Cody Conner attempted to rob Cupid’s Corner Sex Shoppe in DeBary, Florida. The clerk convinced Conner that he would be great at selling dildos and got him to put down his gun and fill out an application for a job at the store after he admited he needed some money. Police later arrested Conner by simply going to his home address which was on his application. Conner later said he would not have taken the job anyway as he was not comfortable with the stores “30-day no questions asked” return policy.
And remember, you can get involved by submitting stories on our Tumblr, sending clips of yourself reporting weird news to SPWEIRDNEWS@GMAIL.COM, posting a video response below, or leaving your kid at a Chuck E. Cheese while spreading queso on their bathroom wall. Sorry, we are not keeping the kid.
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