Well, this is me catching up on my True Blood Episode 4 & 5 Reviews. I was going to do two separate reviews, but then I went to my notes for Episode 4 and there weren’t many because, to me, the episode was a little ho-hum.

A few quick notes and then reviewing of some plot lines over the two episodes.

THE KID VAMPIRE. I freaking knew it was him who was the spy, or whatever. It’s always the creepy ass vampire kid. Child/Adult characters are always bizarre either in TV or in Art. Fun Fact—MANY Italian Renaissance Art Icon Paintings depicting Mary and Jesus enthroned show Jesus as a “Little Man” and it is the CREEPIEST SHIT EVER. (See example below) I might have to do a series of drawings of creepy children, mostly cause they’re also awesome.  Either way, he gets staked by Stabler.

The only interesting part of this episode (OK, other then drunk Sookie and Alicide sucking face) was the interaction between Pam and Eric. Is it me or is Pam’s writing first rate this season. I love their weird family relationship, and who didn’t laugh when Pam (with Vamp Tara) goes to Eric “Look, you’re a Grandfather”? It broke my heart to see him set her free, and yet it was a rare completely honest moment for the show and the actors NAILED it.  It was a bit sad to see Tara try to commit suicide in a tanning booth, but good to see her in the latter episode to learn to enjoy her new life.

Now, moving onto Episode, but continuing with the Pam discussion….I am completely enjoying how Pam is as Tara’s maker. I really enjoyed when Tara and Jessica sat down and had a light hearted bitch session, it was a needed light moment for Sunday’s episode. We saw with Jessica how she adjusted from being human to Vampire in Season 1, but we had no investment in her character. We do with Tara. We got a little cattyness when Tara was feeding off of (a willing) Hoyt (OK maybe a lot), and when Pam pinned Tara up against the wall for being…well…Tara, was pretty homoerotic! Like I have said before, Pam needs to get some!


Jason wants to find out what happened to his parents after seeing is cousin Hadley at the Fairy strip club and she let it slip that they were killed by vampires? Hmm, one deviation from the books I don’t like. This feels forced to me, and honestly there are just too many damn plot lines going on. I am willing to forgive this a little, but only because episode 5 had Jason in He-Man pajamas and a fantasy I never knew I had came true! (((NERD-LOVE))) Andy just doesn’t interest me much, frankly.

Terry and his army buddy (I don’t remember his name yet) went to find the other army buddy and he’s hiding out in a underground flame retardant shelter. He’s hiding from a demon (?) of fire Ifrit, who was conjured by an innocent middle eastern civilian they killed during the current war (among others) and then set on fire. MORE demons? Oye. I am generally quite disappointed in the supernatural nature of Terry’s story. Having grown up not far from Fort Drum I was really hoping that what caused Terry’s PTSD would have been of this earth and reminiscent of what happens—and it was right up until the fire. I think this could have brought a large audience some clarity into the issues that Vet’s face when coming home from war and the fact that many are not well taken care of by the government after their “duty” is done. It didn’t have to be a Dr Phil episode, but I think that TB had an opportunity here to raise awareness, even in a campy TV show, that they’re just letting slide by.

And poor Lafayette. We see is Brujo demon come out a sabotage Sookie’s car, and then Lafayette keeps seeing shit. I miss the old Lafayette. The glorious gay Lafayette who called every woman “hooker” as a term of endearment. Lets bring him back! And there was a headless Jesus….ummm….

And in about the best two minutes of “True Blood” EVER we see Bill and Eric decide to utilize Sookies telepathic talents, but first they watch her make out with Alicide first. After she pukes on his shoes while unzipping his pants (Ummmm, that is NOT the reaction I would have, highly intoxicated or not!) you see Bill and Eric in the door way of her bedroom. Too much to hope there would have been naked fighting or something…eh? Sigh. I am happy to say though that Sookie’s love life is not the main focus of this season so far, which is a nice break. However, Bill has been looking pretty good lately. Could I be turning from Team Eric to Team Bill?!

Moving along…. There are some GREAT quotes from Episode 5, so here they are!

Alicide and Sookie going at it. “Ive waited forever for this” Sookie pukes on his shoes.

Eric and Bill in the door way. Eric says “Alicide, you sure do know how to treat a lady”


Tara—So, being a Vampire means I have to wear a bustier

Pam—You actually look halfway decent

Tara—If I wanted to look like a drag queen I would have raided Lafayette’s closet


Tara—You want me to bartend?

Pam—No, I want you to sit on your ass and play scrabble.


Andy—I fucked a fairy?


Tara—I am many things, but sweet ain’t one of ’em


Pam—Listen to me. I saved your life and lent you some truly exquisite clothes, but if you ever fuck with Fangtasia I will silver you and stick you in a coffin to rot into the next millennium. (After Tara tries to feed publicly)


Sookie– First of all, the horror movie thing…You don’t split up in When you’re in a big scary asylum with a crazed killer on the loose!


The last one leads me to the best part of the episode and what I have been waiting for ALL SEASON!



(Also, I am going to call it that Stabler’s lady friend there is the one who set Russell free….)