Wow. It has been awhile since I was able to watch Raw live. No work and no other commitments. I’ll be writing here and on Twitter simultaneously. There could be some similar jokes if you’re following both. Lets get to some wrestling!
The one and only Solace Winter was nice and lovely enough to provide match times again this week. I watch the show, comment on it, then enter in the match times and reevaluate my thoughts armed with this new knowledge. Thank you Solace!
(I apologize for this one. I’m still not recovered from wedding week and this ended up being a very crappy write up. I don’t think I was in the mood to watch it tonight so forgive me if I’m a little harsh on here.)
The Big Show has never started off anything hot. And yet here we are. I’m not even sure he starts off his poo hot. The fans chant 45 seconds. No one cares about that match. This doesn’t make any sensebut I’ll hope for the best. Much of the roster is watching from the back. Show wants Daniel Bryanout there for an ass kicking. Oh my. Sorry, AJ outift of the week.
D-Bryan comes out to hopefully last longer than 45 seconds. No, against Big Show. Not against AJ. For all the marks who love the ladies of WWE how long do you think you could last with one of them. Bareback. No bridge, all impact. Anyways…
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan.
Just when a match gets going we have a commercial break. Oh sure, if someone is talking the whole thing goes on for a half hour. But how dare anyone want to see a match on a wrestling show!
All of that being said though I cant believe I’m seeing Daniel take down the giant. He really is one of the best talents WWE has. And then he gets pinned. Well I feel like I just killed that. Poor Daniel Bryan. I mean yes its Show and he has the next title shot but come on!
Kane comes out for the save. Maybe? To live and Show another day. Then JR says how imposing Big Show looks. What? When he’s walking away from a challenge?!
Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan – 3:21
That was only 3 minutes? I would rather see the number one contender get to show off a bit more. Also, the tag team champion and a past World champion should have been allowed to show some more ring work as well.
Yay its time to start the CM Punk show. Hellions in the house tonight are hoping that’s the new WWE title behind that curtain. I have to say, I have a lot of CM Punk shirts but I don’t think I’ll be buying this new yellow one. Oh it is too funny for Punk to say that the show doesn’t revolve around one guy. I mean, technically it falls into what he has been saying, the show should revolve around the champion. Who just happens to be Punk.
Vince McMahon comes out because that’s what WWE does when ratings are down. What, the show dipped? Time to throw Vince out there! Vince is going to settle Punk’s affairs here soon. All of this just undermines the entire character and reason for AJ.
I’m going to try to not be too much of an asshole, but these Komen WWE ads are a bit too much.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Brodus Clay.
Oh there isn’t even a challenge here. There is not a chance that Del Rio wins. There is a pecking order in WWE and Brodus, you’re down low. Also, why is there no mention of Brodus previously working for Del Rio? Oh that was a nasty kick by Del Rio. And now down for the arm bar. I would love to see Del Rio pull out a wad of cash and take the Funkadactyls back with him. Give them a DWI Destiny While Intoxicated.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Brodus Clay – 2:05
And thus the squashes begin. Del Rio is main event level. He should be destroying Brodus. Although, its weird. Alberto has no story arc, no feuds, and no match at the pay per view. He’s treading right now and its time for something to happen so he isn’t forgotten.
CM Punk and Paul Heyman have a bit of a chat backstage. Why is Cody Rhodes ring gear on display on the wall? CM Punk wants to fight Vince tonight. Well, try to not beat up any fans tonight Phil.
Prime Time Players vs. Zack Ryder and Santino Marella.
The less said about this match the better. It was quick and nasty. PTP won, as they should.
CoBro vs. Prime Time Players – 1:24
Another squash. This is what should have happened. Hopefully PTP get the next next shot at the tag belts.
Paul Heyman is my favorite slimeball in all of wrestling. I cant not watch him. The guy is always amazing on the mic.
Ryback vs. Dolph Ziggler & David Otunga – 1:50
Looks like I forgot all about this one while writing up the night. Eh, these things happen. Build up the Ryback, Dolph goes away and David can take the loss and still get heel heat. Good work here.
The Hellions here tonight started marking out as soon as Antonio Cesaro came out. Nothing against Justin Gabriel, but this is a Claudio household. Great ring work. I fucking love that uppercut too.
Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel – 3:47
I could watch Antonio wrestle for hours. That may have not come out right, and you know what, I don’t care. One of the best wrestlers on the whole WWE roster and he’s brand new there. Claudio will only get better.
Matt Striker vs. Kane.
Just a goofy squash thing but I gotta say Kane’s sense of humor has been enlightening. I loved when he dropped down and tried to “interview” Striker. Too funny.
Kane vs. Matt Striker – 2:02
This match should have lasted half the time. Striker is not a (regular) wrestler anymore. He should have been beat in under a minute. Even with the story line and the goofiness.
Oh I am just not into Raw this week. And the first week I can watch it live too.
We’re up to MizTV. With Kofi Kingston. Because Miz and Kofi hasn’t been done before. Nor has Kofi fighting for the IC title. Hopefully they do something to spice it up tonight.
Using this segment to hype up Main Event on Wednesday? Ugh. I don’t think that’s quite what I was looking for. Why are the lights down low for this? To make it seem more intimate? More erotic? I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me but the segment I’m looking forward to the most is with Ryback. This Kofi vs. Miz does nothing for me. Really, not the best of nights for Raw. This is not how to get the ratings back up.
Sheamus (World Champion) vs. Wade Barrett.
Oh I really want this to be a good match. Tons of potential here. I can see both men winning the WWE and World title numerous times. I see Linds is enjoying this match immensely. Change your clothes after this match!
And its the best match on Raw too! This is a pay per view bout right here. Sure, Big Show comes out to watch and whatever I’ll ignore his presence as long as I can. Great ring work by both men.
Little weird to see Wade wearing tights with lettering that seems to be inspired by the classic “I broke Wahoo’s leg” t-shirt.
And Show had to come down and ruin this match! You ruin things Show! Then Sheamus kicks Wade, but he fights off Show too. Well, Sheamus is being built up pretty strong. I’m still not uber excited for this but I’m willing to give the Hell in a Cell match a chance.
Wade Barrett vs. Sheamus – 12:22
Great work there! I may just end up putting Sheamus on my end of the year list as most improved. The last few weeks no one has tried harder. He finally believes in himself and it shows. Who would have thought we’d be saying Sheamus of all people put on some of the best WWE matches of the past couple months.
Eve vs. Layla.
Oh the level I give a shit has greatly gone downhill. Am I in a bad mood watching this match? Is it the post wedding come down? Nothing has grabbed me tonight. How can such pretty girls have such ugly matches? I don’t think an arm bar is meant to be sold by falling face first onto the mat.
This match has gone on far longer than needed.
Eve knocks Layla off the ropes and it looks nasty. She pins Layla, who puts her foot on the ropes but the referee doesn’t see it. Oh look its the same referee that missed Punk’s foot on the ropes too. What in the shit? Layla is a face who got screwed over, which doesn’t really play into CM Punk arguing about the same. I really cant make sense of Eve or her angles.
Eve vs. Layla – 4:40
Really? I am all for a longer Divas match. With talent. I know I know, the fans can never be satisfied. But I don’t know who Eve, or Layla, or half of the Divas are. I need a reason to hate or love them.
Kane and Daniel Bryan exchange yes and no’s again. Usual backstage shenanigans before the main event. Vince says people are saying that Ryback is heartless, relentless. When the hell did he show anything like that? He comes out, beats people, and leaves. That has nothing to do with whether he’s good or bad. That’s just being a good wrestler.
Oh, hey, its no where near as late as I thought. We are not at the main event yet.
Team Rhodes Scholars vs. Epico and Primo (with Rosa Mendes).
One is getting pushed, one has never had a push despite being former tag team champions. I think we know who’ll win here. Damien reminds me of Raffi from the League. I think I’m going to roll with that now when I watch Damien.
Yup, I knew for sure who was going to win. Shit match though. Not shit work, just nothing of note or memorable here.
Rhodes Scholars vs. Primo & Epico – 6:53
I had no idea this match was this long. Speaking of people we need to be given a reason to care about, enter the Colons. (Wow. That came out wrong!) I’m all for the Rhodes Scholars and becoming a huge fan of both men but Epico and Primo do nothing for me.
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston.
I forgot this match was going to take place. The one segment took place and since then I forgot about this kind of feud that is taking place here.
Alright it ends with a reason for a feud. Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise and gets the clean pin. Good job there. Oh, so this is just a preview for Wednesday? I’m going to guess that Miz wins on Main Event and we get the third match at the pay per view.
That really was a nasty hit though. I would not be surprised if Miz has a bit of a concussion from that one.
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston – 5:20
I cant really give an opinion either way on this one. Because this battle isn’t over. It will continue on Main Event and I expect a third match soon too. Five minutes seems like a fair amount of time to get a rivalry started up.
Vince McMahon comes out so we can decide the main event for Hell in a Cell. CM Punk and Paul Heyman are out first. Then the Ryback. And finally John Cena. Lets make something good happen here.
Why is Cena stepping aside and letting Ryback get all the glory? He must not be healed. Ryback just signed the contract. How the hell will Ryback do this match? We haven’t even seen how the guy does against real competition. Now he’s being thrown in the Cell? This could be disastrous.
Ryback just picks up and drops Punk and I for one am shocked. Thought for sure it would be Cena.