The Smarked for Death Wrestling Review of WWE Smackdown 12/7/12.



This is no time to sleep Big Show!  Its time for the Smarked for Death review!

There’s a pay per view coming up next week and the Friday night delight has to get over this brand new 6 man main event.  Plus, there’s never been a better time to be a secondary champion in the WWE.  The tag, US and Intercontinental titles are hotly coveted and featured. Lets watch a two hour show and hope that minus commercials and Raw recaps we still end up with over an hour of great wrestling action!


Booker T is out in the ring.  Good thing, he mentioned his time in Supermarkets.  Bad thing, he pauses in the middle of the word responsi


It was quite the pause.  Anyways, Booker reviews the feud between Big Show and Sheamus.  He then announces that the two men cannot touch each other until their match at TLC.  Good way to add some tension to the story for the next week.  Booker brings out Big Show first.  Remember what I said back in the Raw review?  Sheamus is still being booked like he’s the World champion.  Even here where he is introduced second.  The champion should come out last.  Always.  Unless there is a plot reason for him to come out first, which can happen sometimes.  This is not one of those times.

Anyways, now Sheamus is out in the ring too.  Face to face.  Will words be exchanged?!  (Shout outs to Tank.)

Well I’ll be… Booker brings up Big Show’s iron clad contract.  You know, that horrible face turn angle Show had last year.  I love the occasional continuity of WWE.

Sheamus looks over the contract.  I wonder if he’s trying to see if he can Brogue-ker a better deal.  Thank you thank you I’ll be here all week.  Sheamus compares beating up Big Show with a chair to Christmas morning.  Its much like my Christmas as well.  The wrestling boots were hung by the chimney with care.  With hopes that Xanta Klaus soon would be there.

Big Show says Sheamus is all vinegar and anger.  Will the Irish ever learn to cook?  (Just kidding, I’m also Irish and I’d do just about anything for some salt potatoes and corned beef right now.)

Big Show is in full on goof mode tonight and pulls a heel move worthy of Eddie Guerrero.  Show tips over the table and throws it on top of Sheamus, then quickly holds up the contract as a shield against any possible retaliation from Sheamus.  Not that kind of Shield, they’ll be on later I’m sure.  Sheamus cant touch Show until next week.  Booker makes matches for both men later tonight and by later I guess he means… next!

Big Show (World champion) vs. Daniel Bryan (1/2 tag team champion).

This is a damn good match to start the show.  I would pay for this on PPV.  Hell, even make it the main event for the World title and I’ll buy the DVD too.  Daniel is trying to get in quick attacks and retreat before Show can make any moves.  Show is very much taking Bryan seriously and so the match starts off hot.

“Big Show is not a vegan.”  Understatement of the year Josh.  Speaking of, I’m enjoying Josh Matthews and JBL on commentary.  JBL isn’t putting over himself anymore and Josh still sounds like he has a love of wrestling in his heart.

Bryan continues to do an amazing job of being faster and using any bit of leverage he can to take the giant down.  If anything it makes me curious what a Bryan vs. Kane match post tag team break up will look like.

The Shield arrives, as I should have seen coming, and that’s all the distraction Big Show needs.  Funny to think Show needs a distraction.  Anyways, the World champion choke slams Bryan and picks up the win.

Speaking of picks, The Shield is now in the ring and picks at the scraps that are the defeated Daniel Bryan.  Kane comes out to help his tag team partner but the 3 on 1 is still too much.  Bryan is beaten down and not about to help anyone.  Kane has dropped to the outside where the beating continues.  The announce table is picked apart and these announcers are about to be without a desk for the rest of the show.  Kane through the table and The Shield find themselves in main event position without having wrestled a match on WWE TV.



Damien Sandow meets the Internet.

Damien Sandow is out to continue his quest for an apprentice.  I love that he holds the mic like a brandy snifter.  Its such a subtle touch but really takes that character the extra mile.  The fan they got looks like what WWE must think internet writers look like.  Glasses.  Unshaved.  Hair is a little too long.  Neither fat or fit either.  Wait.  Check check and check.  Dammit!

Anyways, you all know the gimmick by now.  Two easy questions, one ridiculously hard one and Damien looks like a smug sonofabitch.  And that’s it right?

The Miz comes out?!  And to a MASSIVE pop?!  Well I guess he is getting over as a face and the fans are grasping on to this with both hands.  Quick insulting remarks to Damien and Miz walks off.  Ohhh this could be a good feud.  Get over Damien, cement Miz as a face and show the wrestling skills that both men have.  On paper and potential I’m all for this and expecting big things.

Brodus Clay has some more dancers this week.  Its the Usos!  Does anyone think Cameron knows who Rikishi is?

Brodus Clay and The Usos vs. 3MB.

It took me this long to realize that Lillian Garcia is the ring announcer tonight.  Why would she not be shown on camera?  Gorgeous woman, with a huge fan base, and we don’t get to see her?  I give TNA lots of crap but at least they make damn sure to show Christy Hemme on TV from head to toe every week.

Fun story, years ago myself and Sweet Matty Treats had this long fake band story line and personas.  We took pictures, wrote a screen play, everything.  Here’s 3MB hitting a lot of the same beats we did.  Minus the wrestling part of course.  I need to start trademarking my ideas.

Holy crap I’m about to see Drew get a win!  Very quick match.  Some people didn’t even get in the ring.  Or barely.  But dammit 3MB won and that’s all that matters.  I love this gimmick and I’m glad to see it succeed despite the fact that it really shouldn’t be as over as it is.

Matt Striker interviews Wade Barrett.  Wade has a pretty epic beard and its a tough thing to pull off such a thing when he also has that emo hawk with the side part.  But dammit like Lex Luger’s independent wrestling t-shirt he is pulling it off.

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett.  Kofi Kingston joins for commentary.

Wade and Randy start off with some classic mat wrestling and its a real nice difference from the usual matches.  Drew me right in.  Kofi’s commentary is throwing me off a bit.  He faces Wade at TLC and thus I’m expecting Wade to win the match, and this causes me to not pay attention to anything Randy is doing.  Makes for an odd match, that a member of the live audience would have a much different opinion of because he/she would not be hearing Kofi.  Hmmm… I think I should pay more attention to the guest commentators in the future to see how it influences my feelings on the matches.

Randy’s clutching his elbow and that’s just the weakness a brawler like Wade needs.  Barrett begins to break down Orton.  Big painful move, then backs up a bit.  Just enough for Randy to catch his breathe and start to feel better then bam!  Here’s another shot.  In a more gimmicky era he would have a slow methodical damn near sadistic character.

One false move though and Randy starts to come back.  Barrett misses a drop off the ropes and it looks like Randy might be able to hit an RKO.  Wade fights it off and attempts to expose the turnbuckle.  Kofi puts a halt to it and that’s all the extra time Orton needs to hit an RKO for the pin.

Story of the match is that Wade had a great showing and damn well may have beaten the 9 time champion.  Kofi caused his loss and now its not just about wanting to be the Intercontinental champion.  Its also about wanting to prove that title is a mere stepping stone for someone who can beat a 9 time champion.  WWE is doing a great job of making me want to buy every match on TLC.

The Great Khali and Hornswoggle (with Natalya) vs. Epico and Primo (with Rosa Mendes).

This is just odd.  I really and sadly could totally see them becoming tag champs too.  I’m all for comedy matches but there are two people in this match who deserve more.  No, not the Colons.  Natalya and Rosa.  Natalya should be having some of the best Divas matches each and every week.  Rosa should be with Alberto Del Rio and I think she’d be a great addition to his character.

Anyways, Khali nimbly falls out of the ring and its a two on one assault on Hornswoggle.  Khali with a big chop and Hornswoggle with the tadpole splash and this bizarre match is over.  I’m all for this angle as the weekly comedy segment but depending on where it leads I reserve the right to change my judgement.

The Shield (of Justice) cuts a found footage type promo.  I’m still loving this angle.  Get over three brand new guys and give them an aura of mystery.  Its already working because they’re about to main event a PPV and most of the fans are all excited for it.  I think that … of Justice line has been added in case Marvel Comics gets a little mad.


Antonio Cesaro comes out and cuts a great heel promo.  Anytime a heel holds the US title it really should be a non American.  Dusty Rhodes American Dream joke!   Yeah, Antonio may just end up on my best of the year list.  R-Truth comes out for the dueling promo.  Nothing against Truth, but is he over with the smarks?  He’s very over with the kids and casual fans, and good for him.  But all of us marks seem at best indifferent to him.  Although it is easy to go pro America against a foreign champion.  Truth has a far telegraphed take down on Antonio and Cesaro backs out of the ring.  Not the best from either man but I’m still looking forward to the match.

Alberto Del Rio (with Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. Sheamus.

Again, we have one of those matches in which you know something is going to happen and the rest is just set up.  Sheamus is challenging for the World title in 9 days and Del Rio isn’t even on the card.  Oh look, Big Show comes out to watch.  Yeah something is going to happen.  Del Rio has some great ring work in here though. Nice kick.  Good heel work.

Did you see that fucking moonsault!  Holy shit!  That one move is better than anything I’ve seen Sin Cara do.  And he didn’t actually hit anything.  Then Sheamus locks on a cloverleaf and the match is over.  But I’m still beyond impressed with Del Rio.  Wow.  I may just totally be in his camp now.

Big Show gets in the ring and dares Sheamus to hit him.  Sheamus gets ready for the Brogue Kick and Show closes his eyes, more than willing to take the shot if it means Sheamus loses his match.  Then Sheamus throws Ricardo right into Big Show’s crotch.  Well that was an innovative move.

The TLC PPV is looking damn good so far.  One more week ahead but WWE is getting me in the mood for wrestling again.  Now just have a good December show and carry that momentum through to the start of the Road to WrestleMania.




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