As part of my Halloween and horror memories I have been reminiscing on the fear I used to have for this time of year and figuring out my personal journey toward full geek ridiculousness for this time of year. Today I remember being a Cub Scout.
Now I know that being a cub scout in itself is not enough to conjure up thoughts of terror. Insert Scout Master joke here. But part of being a Cub Scout is having meetings and having fun as a group. There is no better activity in October than getting scared, although now as a parent I do have certain reservations about this. Maybe its something deep within me that made me a terrified child and now rears its ugly head as an over protective parent.
There were two Scout meetings from an October probably over 25 years ago. The first one took place at a Haunted House. Well, not a house. We went to one of those pick your own apples farms that added on hay rides and built extensions onto the main building to host twists turns and terror. Too much terror.
Out of a group of 10-15 kids I was the only one who refused to go in the Haunted House. Too scary. I wasn’t the youngest or the smallest. Yet I was by far the most chicken shit. The sounds of banging and screams from the inside was too much for me. Despite begging and peer pressure and even support I refused. Everyone else went in and I was left alone to admire the pumpkins.
I did have a bit of fun though. Everyone ran out screaming and one of the denizens of the dark ran out after them. I joined in the chaos and ran away with the rest of them. We all circled a giant fake pumpkin and for some reason this made it safe. We’re all outside, there are witnesses. Nothing bad can happen to me.
Surprisingly I wasn’t picked on at school for being a wuss. At least not that I recall. I do remember much bullying in school and if I remember these days so well and there was any hazing I’m sure it would have stuck with me as well.
The next Scout meeting was about sitting around, eating Halloween candy and recording our memories of the previous outing. I had nothing to say about the haunted house itself, obviously. But I did feel the need to get my feelings out about what little I did participate in. The one thing that could overshadow my fears of monsters was my fear of being left out. I was feeling braver. Stronger. Ready to go into the next haunted house because nothing can scare me now.
Then everyone wanted to watch the original Halloween.
I was right back to being alone and scared. I think I sat there and pretended to watch but was actually doing anything else I could to not see the screen. While Halloween is an amazing movie so much of it is build up. My childish mind could not handle the tension. Knowing bad things are coming made everything bad.
It wasn’t until I went home and survived the night with no slashers and no nightmares that I realized what was left. My own made up fears. I had to overcome these somehow.
Hey, I found the place we went to and its still open. Plan out http://www.behlingorchards.com/
This post is part of the Countdown to Halloween. Be sure to check out all the other blogs involved.