Who Are the Cap’n’s Friends?

First off I’m aware that’s too many apostrophes but I’m not sure what to do in such a situation. 

Second I’ve been paying attention to cereal boxes lately. Fun cereals aren’t advertised like they used to be. The death of Saturday morning cartoons and after school weekday ones on local network channels may be a related reason. Kids probably don’t have the same emotional attachment we did to cereal mascots. Do they even care that Trix are for kids? Probably not. Even worse is the supporting cast. Toucan Sam’s kids/nephews for example. More glaring though is Cap’n Crunch’s rogues gallery. 

   
 
Who the hell are these guys?  They must have names. I’m sure they were introduced in long ago and long forgotten commercials. But there’s not a kid in the world looking up classic Crunch commercials on YouTube in order to understand the Cap’n mythos. And if there is I fun thee Dino Drac Jr. 

I’m off to learn the history of the wars between Sir Grapefellow and Baron Von Redberry. 

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