So for a few days this past week I was ready to shut down this entire site and move on with my life. There were a couple of hard days, some personal things and some site related, all at once.
Over the years it has always helped me to be open with certain feelings and events. Writing and posting the thoughts act as therapy. Its a free way to work though things but it also gives a sense of freedom. While I am grateful of all my readers, I will never see 99% of you. At least not daily. Thus it makes a very personal post easier to write than to speak directly to someone I am familiar with.
Anyways, on to the events of the week and why I almost left.
Two years ago I got my first car. Its my first car, the first family car, the first car we’ve traveled in and it is honestly maybe the second most important physical item for my family. Roof over head, car under feet. The world that opens up thanks to a car is immeasurable. Granted, most people realize this at 16 but I took near twenty years more to learn the lesson. Any smart ass comments you may have about this revelation have already been made by my father, but thanks.
A little less than two years ago we also started learning some tough financial lessons. One, look out for yourself because no one else will. Two, always have a back up plan. This family now works, hustles, makes extra money and saves what we can because we’ve been through enough crap for awhile. Thankfully we do think that way because a coupon for a car inspection led to a $2000 bill.
Then I come home to an e-mail alert that someone very much doesn’t like the site. There were nasty things said and I wont go into detail because the sender does not deserve the attention, but I will say it messed me up.
Between the two events (and many little ones) I felt like I was back in school having the worst day ever. Something embarrassing happened, I failed a test, got scolded, ignored by the pretty girl and all I wanted was to sit down and eat lunch. Then I dropped my tray. The whole day is ruined.
I am in the middle of a very long streak of posting something every day on this site. Year and a half straight. This dropped tray almost put that to a stop. When all of this happened I was ready to stop writing, maybe even delete the entire site. I’m glad that I didn’t. For one, the feeling of weight has lifted. Two, it would have been a foolish thing to impulsively do. Throwing away years of work, thousands of posts and millions of hits for what? For what amounted to a bad day.
I heard a quote once. Alright, so it was on the first season of Tough Enough (not that that’s anything to be proud of). The quote was “tough times don’t last but tough people do”. While that quote has actually gotten me in trouble before (buy me a drink and ask me to tell the story!) its still sound advice. Cars break down. There are assholes in the world. Bills pile up. Bad shit just plain happens. But it cant happen forever.
Thank you for all of you who tolerated my ranting and self positive thinking.