Not my car or a picture of my street, but an accurate example for today’s story.

 

Don’t worry. Joysticks will continue. But today was a heck of a day, that I felt inclined to share.

At somewhere between 530-6 AM the phone rang. The city school district is closed for the day. These phone calls are a really monkey’s paw. Yes, the wish was granted – no school. However, now the phone has rang earlier than an alarm was set and everyone in the house is now up and awake on what could have been a sleep in day.

I got up and headed to work, nervous about my 630 AM drive because of the cancellations. While there were wisps of snow on the ground it was as easy a drive as the middle of summer. When multiple school days have already been used I doubted the school’s decision. At 7 AM people started calling in to work. Understandable for parents who now have no child care set up for kids that were supposed to be in school today. A couple of customers trickled in, many with those same children, and i continued to question the closings.

Around 10 AM I took a break and had to leave work to pick up a co worker who was getting some work done on his car. As soon as I walked outside the daggers of ice hit me. Rain was freezing on it’s way down and hitting every spot of bare skin like death by a thousand cuts. Doing something foolish like opening your eyes to find your car leads to stinging pain. The ten minutes I was gone wasn’t a difficult drive though and again I think maybe school erred on the side of caution.

More call outs hit work. Less customers than usual. I begin to debate which way to go home, as my usual route has a large hill which is tough to get traction on days like today. Upon leaving work at the end of my shift, the car had a lean to of snow covering the passenger side. Just that side. Front, back and driver’s side is crystal clear. Unfortunately this evidence of wind direction is also the direction I’m about to be driving in.

Drove home with minimal slipping. Took the longer but safer way home. Picked up my wife for her work which is only a 3-5 minute drive depending on if I hit the one stop light along the way. Got my son some food and headed home, where I did not account for the drive way also lining up with the blowing snow. I got some good momentum and made it into the garage without problems. Now, I understood cancelling school.  I would not have wanted hundreds of buses sliding around in this with all of their weight and momentum and kids being kids not sitting safely on most of them. But, by this time the worst appeared to be over and I foresaw no issues picking up my wife when she would be done with work.

The mysterious neighbor across the street had other plans. One, I wasn’t even sure until today that someone was living there. No shoveling all winter long, no lights, no obvious signs of activity for months. But today some guy decided to park his car directly across from my driveway all day long which caused the snow plows to have to go around his vehicle and leave a trail of dumped snow in the middle of the road. A pile I had to maneuver through to get the car back in the garage this evening.

Forward. Reverse. Over and over again. Every angle of the steering wheel possible. Trying to shift my own weight in the car hoping to catch any traction. Nothing. All because skippy across the street for the first time in months chose to park his car in the most self centered spot possible. It’s late at night. No one is going to be out clearing their own driveways, because they were cleared hours ago and their neighbors have enough respect for other people to find somewhere other to park that is not completely IN MY WAY!

Thankfully my wife came out to the rescue. Coffee grounds, kitty litter, salt, shovels, she was a human Swiss army knife of snow removal. ‘Twas glorious. At the same time I see ole’ Cold Miser neighbor come outside with a shovel. I feel horrible. All of the terrible thoughts in my head about him. He sees me struggling, knows this is his fault, and is coming out to help push or clear the snow that he is responsible for.

And I could not have been more wrong!

He shovels his steps and sidewalk. Buddy. Buddy. No one has come to see your recluse self for months and no one is coming late at night in the snow for you either. I am currently blocking the street with my car because you and your car have foiled my plans of parking like its akin to robbing the First National Bank of Gotham City and you’re Batman.

Not only does has he caused this problem. Not only does he see us struggling to get the car moved. Not only does he see a van turn down our street and then turn around because of this blockage. He damn near gets himself run over as I try reverse again and he is now shoveling around his car. Which, I tell you hours later, is still sitting there!

My wife and I finally get the car inside. We clear out all of the snow that just got torn up. I go inside and am both angel and devil. A gentleman and a hellion. I thank her profusely for helping me out. I truly could not have gotten the car moved, or at least not for much much longer time without her help. I then tell her that if Captain Ignorance across the street had made even a half ass attempt at helping us out I would have gone right back out there and shoveled his car out with him. But as he instead chose to be self centered I wish for a snow plow to center right on him and a parking ticket to be on the center of his windshield.

So, yes, I did not have time to write 1000 more words about a movie but here was the same amount in a winter storm rant. Thank you all for reading this slice of life. See you tomorrow!

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